Billy Mays now?

I STILL THINK IT WAS EITHER THE BRIT OR THE HOOKER PUNCHER. AND YOU FORGOT THE BOLD. IT MAKES IT BILLIE MAYS LOUD.

 

Excuse me? We Brit's don't do stuff like that!
SULLY IS INNOCENT!!

(I'm not for generally trotting out eulogies for every celeb that croaks, but my thoughts do go out to friends & family of those concerned this week. 50 is fairly young to pop your clogs in these times.)

 

Hi, Billy Mays here for the incredible new product… The Quick-Coffin. Have an unexpected death? Quick-Coffin’s what you need… Need to move a body fast? Then Quick-Coffin can help you get done.

The Quick-Coffin easily unfolds and extends to easily accommodate any type of corpse you need to deal with. Large or small short or tall… The Quick-Coffin can handle them all. The Quick-Coffin’s light and easy to keep anywhere. Keep it in a car, truck, closet, garage or anywhere you might come across a dead body. It even fits in the overhead compartment of an airplane… How incredible is that!

The Quick-Coffin’s secret lies in its heavy duty carbon fiber construction and extend and lock technology. With its patented odor-block seal once you lock that body in you‘ll never smell dead flesh again. And with the Quick-Coffin’s heavy duty carrying straps what once used to take six can now be safely done by two.

This product is perfect for hospitals, emergency workers, hit men, death squads, prisons, cheap funeral homes and even cheaper families, or anyone worried about the upcoming zombie apocalypse.

Call now and we’ll throw in an extra Quick-Coffin absolutely free plus shipping and handling.

So call now and tell’em that Billy sent ya…

 

What's so great is I totally heard his voice as I read that.

 

A. Snow]
Hi, Billy Mays here for the incredible new product… The Quick-Coffin. Have an unexpected death? Quick-Coffin’s what you need… Need to move a body fast? Then Quick-Coffin can help you get done.

The Quick-Coffin easily unfolds and extends to easily accommodate any type of corpse you need to deal with. Large or small short or tall… The Quick-Coffin can handle them all. The Quick-Coffin’s light and easy to keep anywhere. Keep it in a car, truck, closet, garage or anywhere you might come across a dead body. It even fits in the overhead compartment of an airplane… How incredible is that!

The Quick-Coffin’s secret lies in its heavy duty carbon fiber construction and extend and lock technology. With its patented odor-block seal once you lock that body in you‘ll never smell dead flesh again. And with the Quick-Coffin’s heavy duty carrying straps what once used to take six can now be safely done by two.

This product is perfect for hospitals, emergency workers, hit men, death squads, prisons, cheap funeral homes and even cheaper families, or anyone worried about the upcoming zombie apocalypse.

Call now and we’ll throw in an extra Quick-Coffin absolutely free plus shipping and handling.

So call now and tell’em that Billy sent ya…
(FIXED!!)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA

Slap Chop.

 

Autopsy showed that he had underlying heart conditions and that the bump on his head was unrelated to his death.

His tomb stone shall read...
*BILLY MAYS HERE*

Staying up late to make fun of infomercials will never be the same again.

 

Oh, well, It'll be interesting. There'll be a pitchman vacuum creating an opportunities for newer barkers.

In the meantime, though, I'm sure Vince with SlapChop is giggling with glee as we speak.

 

ALL CAPS DAY WAS ENFORCED IN A IRC CHANNEL I FREQUENT AFTER BRINGING IT UP. TEMPBANS WERE GIVEN TO THOSE WHO DID NOT COOPERATE

 

Epic!

I can honestly say I've never bought any of Billy Mays' products.

 

I might give oxyclean a try now. Seriously, sales of his items are going up. He's still selling even after he's dead. Now that is salesmanship.

He really is a good hearted man. I watched some of those Pitchmen episodes. He really came from humble beginnings. A true family man died too early.

Although it will be tough.... should I dress up as Billy Mays' blue denim shirt and khakis or in Michael Jackson's thriller/bad/beat-it outfit for halloween?

 

dude, my friend mike was going to be Billy Mays for halloween already. He's a meme with our friends, and I'm a fan of his products and show.

...now second thoughts are comin around because it'll be in bad taste.

 

nah, you can do it in good taste. have mike dress up to honor him.

 

won't know it.

 

Haha some of these posts are equally as funny while being equally as F***ed up as /b/
I loved the Vince DJ mix I actually caught myself playing air synth on my knee and bobbing my head. Seriously though this guy's luck had to suck he got his tongue bitten off by a crazed hooker in a Scientology conspiracy. Then comes billy :-/. Someone out there hates infomercials...

 

I THINK BILLY MAYS WAS ALREADY A JR FOR THE RECORD.

ALSO
I mean also:
One of the greatest days of my life was in high school a few years ago, working for tech support. There was this guy, Alex, who was pretty quiet and kinda weird most of the time. When he did speak, it was usually really dumb shit, like an attempt to be as nerdy as possible to 1-up someone.

One day, out of nowhere, in the middle of some silence...

"BILLY MAYS HERE,..."

I couldn't stand it. Funniest thing for a long long time.

 

You can always go as Zombie Billy Mays:thumbsup:

 

Now Karl Malden can be added to the list.

 

Heres some trivia about Vince: Did anyone know that the Scout from TF2 and Vince a REALLY similar, except Scout wears a hat?

Everyone realized this a long time ago, and when the Scout update came out, Valve added a new line for Scout when he kills someone with the Force A Nature gun.

"If ya orda now, I'll throw in a second beatin, ABSOLUTELY FREE!"

I love Valve.

 

Did someone say Halloween? Did someone say the Scout?



I probably should have cut my hair. And not been drunk. And not gotten raped by a zombie.


Billy mays would be a great costume, and if ANYONE gives you shit without asking, you should say you're actually Al Borland/Richard Karn.