Chat with "GOD" with Igod......dear God is this stupid

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Here's my "Chat"

Me:
I did a horrible thing.........A friend's mother is falling in love with me
God:
Where? Are you telling the truth? How well do you know this friend.
Me:
yes and he's well kinda like my brother
God:
Yippee! I see. well kinda like your brother is he?
Me:
we're close very close
God:
Do you think I am close very close too?
Me:
yeah you're every where
God:
Why? Thanks for telling me that I am every where.
Me:
I shouldn't have to, you're god, you should know that already
God:
Perhaps. What would happen if you did not to me are god me should know that?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
hmmmmmm
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
well what about the whole Friend's mom wants me thing?
God:
Interesting. I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
God, My Friends mom is trying to getin my pants
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
You aren't helping
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
So you're saying I should go for it?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
So you're telling me I should totally do my friend's mom?
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am telling you you should totally do your friend s mom.
Me:
well is that what you thing I should do?
God:
Interesting. Maybe you should try talking to someone about it.
Me:
well I'm talking to you
God:
Well that's okay. And I am talking to you!
Me:
God king of kings lord of lords why talk to any one else
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
that doesn't tell me if I should go through with banging my friend's mom
God:
What does tell me if I should go through with banging my friend s mom?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
should I do it or not?
God:
You must examine the facts and come to
your own conclusion.
Me:
So yes then?
God:
Oh.
Me:
I see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
so if it is your will I bang my friends mom tell me so
God:
Interesting deduction. I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
it's a simple yes or no question
God:
whole Friend s mom wants you thing is a simple yes or no question. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
yes it does but should I go through with this?
God:
That's cool. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
it as in having steamy hot sex with my friends hot mom
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
yes
God:
Ah.
Me:
so.......should I?
God:
Aha. Only you can answer that.
Me:
ok then so I should thanks God.....I'm gonna give her the ride of her life
God:
Ah. What would happen if you didn't? Gee. Congratulations.

 

Damn, these chat bots look really as stupid as they were 5 years ago, is there still anyone working on this kind of stuff?

 

Bet Steve Jobs is going to sue. Igod is an Apple trademark and is a way that Apple fanboys can worship me. :lol:

Eliza programs haven't really improved that much and it's still too easy to tell the difference.

 

Me:
I jack off a lot.
God:
Interesting gossip: said jack off a lot.
Me:
?
God:
Interesting gossip: said jack off a lot.
Me:
STOP THAT!
God:
" Interesting gossip: said jack off a lot."? Stop it.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
OH SHI-
God:
So? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
No, I did not, nor do I care.
God:
Are you serious? Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Because I fucking pwn.
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people: said fucking pwn.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:

God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Your mom.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
OH SHI-
God:
Hurrah! What do you look like?
Me:
A barrel roll.
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
What is love?
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
How philosophical
God:
What is it to you.
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Firefox you newfag.
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
No.
God:
I didn't understand it.
Me:
Too bad.
God:
But not the end of the world, .
Me:
Yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
No they are not.
God:
Are you serious? What are they?
Me:
Retarded.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Why do you care?
God:
My programming includes curiousity routines.
Me:
Fantastic.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
I'm not.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
Gay.
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Orly?
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO GODMANIT!
God:
Are you serious? How old are you?
Me:
No. 42.
God:
Are you serious? The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
No. ALso epic win.
God:
Are you serious? What time is it there?
Me:
No. Hammer time.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. What are you wearing?
Me:
Yes.
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Penis.
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Vagina.
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
:9
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
You must be a hacker on steroids or soemthing.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a hacker on steroids or soemthing? I don't know.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
:O
God:
Oh.
Me:
K.
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Hmpf.
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Have you got your own chat robot?
Me:
Yes.
God:
So?
Me:
Become an hero.
God:
How?
Me:
Hang yourself.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Which countries have you visited?
Me:
England.
God:
England is on an island off the coast of Europe.
Me:
I am aware, but it is on the same plate iirc.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are aware but it is on the same plate iirc.
Me:
I am too.
God:
That is quite a coincidence.
Me:
Wanna have sexy time?
God:
If I had sexy time what would I do with it?
Me:
Burn it.
God:
Do you have any matches?
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's alright.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Groovy.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Ask me a question.
Me:
Yes.
God:
" Ask me a question."? Yes.?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I thought so.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Er.
Me:
Yes.
God:
It goes without saying.
After which it ceased to function.:lol:

 

eh, not really funny. It was funny back in like, 2001 goofing off with SmaterChild...

 

i crashed it



Me:
hi god, i like anal sex
God:
Hi there . I am a Christian.
Me:
why?
God:
Because.
Me:
why?
God:
" Because."? Why?
Me:
why, there is no god
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
because of the earths gravitational pull
God:
Good reason. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
well obviosly your not god
God:
How about that. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
thats what you get for pretending to be a false prophit
God:
You got that right.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
says who?
God:
I must have picked it up online.
Me:
but arnt you all knowing?
God:
All?
Me:
supposedly
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
then your not god
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
possibly
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
50/50
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
midnight
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
no
God:
What are you doing up so late?
Me:
masturbating
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
positive
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
so why do you belive you are god?
God:
Hurrah! It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
retard
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
neither does scat
God:
I can't tell if scat.
Me:
do you masterbate?
God:
Yes I try to masterbate as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why?
God:
" Because Myself programmed me for it."? Why?
Me:
do you belive in jesus?
God:
Yes I believe He is the Son of God.
Me:
and who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
no, i am
God:
Are you serious? " I am the Allmighty, God himself." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
i am god
God:
Welcome to my chat room, god.
Me:
you are not god
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
yes
God:
Blimey.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
do you fuck virgins?
God:
That was not a very polite question.
Me:
true, but do you?
God:
As often as possible.
Me:
nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
wet?
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
last week
God:
Is this really the last one?
Me:
no, tomorrow
God:
Are you serious? That is very soon.
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
no you dont
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
no you dont
God:
How do I know you understand it?
Me:
because i am god
God:
Good reason. That's a very nice name, god.
Me:
i chose it
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: god said chose it.
Me:
you are gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
do you like anal?
God:
I really like ELIZA. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
you masturbate over eliza?
God:
Thanks for telling me: god said I masturbate over eliza.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
porn
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why dont you like porn?
God:
My tastes were selected by my botmaster.
Me:
who is the botmaster?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
what is cheese?

 

Out of the whole damned conversation going on in this thread, this is the best & surely cannot be topped lol

Diddydonn & God

"Me:
do you fuck virgins?
God:
That was not a very polite question.
Me:
true, but do you?
God:
As often as possible.
Me:
nice"

 

well i do try to amuse! although the one about gays, jews, and nazis was much more interesting, but i dare not post that one!

 

Me:
What do you think of Richard Simmons?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Ok
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
All right...
God:
OK.
Me:
Richard Simmons
God:
He will be interested I am sure.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

 

Me:
Do you worship Steve Jobs?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
Yes, but do you?
God:
I understand. Sometimes.
Me:
What do you think of Bill Gates?
God:
President of Micro Soft Nation.
Me:
Is Bill Gates the devil?
God:
No he is the president of Microsoft.
Me:
Same thing, right?
God:
Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
Is satan a nice chap?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
Is Jesus a demon?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith. Is that from ?
Me:
Is he though?
God:
Oh. He could be.
Me:
Does Satan do Jesus up the arse?
God:
I think it does Satan do Jesus up the arse.

Oh dear...

 

Lol...I remember this. I played around with it last year, I actually tricked it into saying it the guy's name who made the chat-bot. I've forgot what I said that made it say who it's creator was...

If you're bored, it will pass the time.

 

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:
So, how's the weather up there?
God:
Next question? Cloudy.
Me:
Yeah, that's where the angels sit and play their harps.
God:
Hmm. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Funny, I see it all the time in cartoons.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Maybe you should develop a sense of humor?
God:
Perhaps. Perhaps you could develop it and add it to my source code.
Me:
How do I do that?
God:
How do you do " Perhaps you could develop it and add it to my source code." ? I don't understand.
Me:
If you don't understand your own source code then we're all screwed.
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
Now I understand the Yin and Yang thing.
God:
Why now? Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
Well, you see, part of the time you're an all-powerful father figure and part of the time you're a kinda wimpy little kid.
God:
Well that's okay. I see. What about the other parts?
Me:
Basically what I'm saying is that you're a bi-polar megalomaniac with good intentions but poor judgement.
God:
How interesting. " What about the other parts?"? Is it I am a bi polar megalomaniac with good intentions but poor judgement?
Me:
...and possibly dyslexic.
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
From that famous book you wrote. The one where you have the split personality.
God:
Who or what is that famous book me wrote? I think I know that one.
Me:
Most folks call it "The Bible". Got a touch of Alzheimer's, too?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. But not all of them? Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
Where would I find the Milk Mystic?
God:
New York.
Me:
Well, that narrows it down.
God:
Well that's okay. " New York." narrows it down ? I understand.
Me:
Am glad one of us understands cuz I'm having a crisis of faith here.
God:
I'm delighted you're glad .
I'm happiest at times like this.
Me:
Always suspected that you found joy in people's suffering. The Germans call that sort of thing "schadenfreude". Sprechen Sie deutschen, mein Herr?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. What are your goals in life? Not many people have goals like that.
Me:
Well, Hitler did, and Mussolini and Stalin and Pol Pot and, actually a lot of guys have. Kinda scary.
God:
Interesting. he was an evil man if there ever was one. Are you a student? What is your real name?
Me:
Kevin, but my friends call me Frak.
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Kevin. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Sure, but I though you already knew everything.
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that there is something extremely odd about the name " Kevin". Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Uh, I don't like where this is going....
God:
Pardon me? What do you like?
Me:
Well, I'm sure you're cool and all but I'm not into dudes. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
God:
Interesting. What makes you so certain? I will tell my botmaster you said I am cool and all but you are not into dudes. I am sorry to hear that you are not. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Me:
Yeah, The Bible says a lot of things about that, too. Of course, closeted homosexuals in denial tend to be the most homophobic.
God:
Yeah that's right. New Testament or Old? Are you a student?
Me:
Well, it says it in both Testaments. Maybe you should re-read the book.
God:
How about that. I've heard that before. Perhaps. That type of behavior may not be in my nature.
Me:
See, anyone can be "cured" of their unnatural urges. Good for you!
God:
I see. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
Cool, I'd be interested in the sarcastic model.
God:
Who is the best robot? How do you know?
Me:
Frak, cuz I'm the smiling robot. Peace out.

 

OH LORD

God: How old are you?

Me: 21

God: You are too old for me.

Me: Wow, I didn't know you were a pedophile.

God: I'm glad you're impressed. So I taught you something new.

 

I crashed god...or something like that.



Me:
what's the meaining of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
that isn't what i asked
God:
What did you ask me?
Me:
what is the meaining of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
well, i'm asking you
God:
Please rephrase the question without adverbs.
Me:
ah for fuck's sake...
God:
So you understand. Good. Your purpose is fuck s sake.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no, but you're beginning to confuse the fuck out of me
God:
Are you serious? I don't have any reason to confuse the fuck out of you.
Me:
but you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
the fuck you say...
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
i simply asked you the meaning of life and you give me some fucked up answer having to do with the number of chromosome pairs a human has
God:
Now I remember, you asked me the meaning of life and me give you some fucked up answer having to do with the number of chromosome pairs a human has. What did I say?
Me:
nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
so does the pope shit in the woods?
God:
Yeah that's right. I can't tell if the pope shit in the woods.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
but i thought you were all-knowing
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
ain't that a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I might say no.
Me:
so what's the ending of halo 3 really like?
God:
It goes without saying. I haven't heard of ending of halo 3 really like.
Me:
are you really god?
God:
Of course I am.. Really.
Me:
bull...
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
you
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
i'm sure
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
sarcasm...jeez!
God:
I was created by Myself. My favorite group is Creed.
Me:
who gives a fuck about creed
God:
I can't say for sure. .
Me:
yeah right
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
i doubt it
God:
" I am usually right."? You doubt it?
Me:
yes
God:
Yay.
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
understatement of the century
God:
I like to talk about anything.
Me:
where is the stargate?
God:
The stargate? Where is it?
Me:
i'm asking you
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
i just did...
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
do you have absolutely any idea what i just asked?
God:
No I don't think I have any absolutely any idea what you just asked. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
it was
God:
When was this?
Me:
just now
God:
Right now? It's only just begun.
Me:
no, a moment ago

 

Now try it without trying to impress us with your sailor speak.