Does a machine like this exist?

I've got an old Fujitsu Siemens Lifebook P if your interested- Windows XP, 800MHz CPU, 4MB ATi Rage Mobility. Would that do the job?

 

I don't think a 4 MB Rage card could run even games the OP mentioned that well: it wasn't really top of the line even when it came out.

 

Thanks for all the replies.

Sadly none of those have built in analogue sticks, so they're not what I'm looking for. It does seem a bit strange that no PC manufacturer has tried a netbook (or laptop) style portable PC that controls aimed at a game, like the Pandora has.

 

In fact, usb or bluetooth "clip on" (vise-grip like) dpad and button array would be quite fitting to modify a netbook into a 'big' handheld...
Kind of an icontrolpad for netbooks!

 

There's always a Vaio UX series, superspeed is selling my old one and I can tell you they're really cool. Core solo X86 in a 4.5" factor. Fits in your pocket! Plus there's a guy in Washington that'll upgrade the CPU to a ULV core 2 duo.
There's another lightly mentioned mod for the UX floating somewhere in the interwebs that shows off an analog stick for the Vaio UX. Plugs in over USB and braces itself on the CF card slot.

Otherwise a Pandora 1GHz is your best bet. They're built well, but a tad expensive at around $600. You can probably find one second hand over at the Pandora forums. Dual analog!

As to why nobody has tried this, is because it's a niche market. I can't see too many people wanting to buy a small computer designed for gaming. The UX, OQO and all other UMPCs are geared primarily for business people, doctors or anyone that NEEDS that sort of extreme portability of an X86 system. Because of the rise of super powerful android devices, that market is gone. To narrow it down further (from nothing) and add in gaming is suicide, or those computers better cost a fuck ton.

 

You should check out onlive.com, it's not a console but a cloudbased system to play games. Some games (like darksiders and LA noire) are touch optimized. I haven't tried it yet but it looks promising if you have a good mobile/tablet.

 

Transformer laptop if you want keyboard and touchscreen with clip on controls. Instant laptop turned gaming tablet.