living long enough to see many of the things and people you knew vanish. It's seeing the shadows of what was and the pain it causes because you are the only one who remembers.
I'm not sure what you mean by this topic but if it's what I think it is then it's scarry. I'm only 34 but I'm at that age where people I grew up watching on TV are starting to die. My grandparents are all dead now too and ever since my son was born 3 years back I've began to thing that my life is almost half over. I think about death which I don't want to but I know it's coming. Maybe it's just a phase but it really makes me think about how I'm going to make the most of of what time left I have.
Sound like pink floyd's "shine on you crazy diamond" and many other of their songs. Lost someone dear? Oh, and lastly, i think you can't deal with it, just get it in your neck and walk forward.
With this post and your "walk in the rain" post, obviously you're feeling melancholy about something. It's hard to see things you treasure disappear and people you thought of as young get older and so on. But that is life, basically: getting old and getting weak. All I know is that if you try to hold on to illusions of the past too tightly, there can seem to be no future. It's not a path you want to travel down.
"walk in the rain" Reminds me of Blade Runner where Rutger is dying in the rain...."a time to die".....
Oh, I think that's called midlife crisis ;-) and it's just normal. Although and it's also proven, the the real midlife already took place with about 20 years. Funnily, atm I'm in the very same mood as you're describing it above. Sure I had these phases already many times, the first time I can remember with about 13 years. If ones could controll the time, the feeling and cognition of time, he could live for much much longer! But so, live is just too short, and it accelerates with every upcomming year.
Embrace it - the world is changing constantly. When something or someone in your life vanishes, it is a little reminder of how precious life is, and how time changes everything.
I always thought a midlife crisis was at around 40 but yeah, I guess that's what I'm having. I just whish I could stop thinking about death and what it will be like and what's next. My honest idea is NOTHING but I hang on to the hope that there is SOMETHING. I just hope this is a midlife crisis as you say and I'll start to go back to my old self not caring about such stuff.
Thing is what's the point if all there is is eating, shitting, fucking, and having kids to only be forgotten like billions of others? Life is too short. If humans lived another 100 years we'd probably be out among the stars, and take care of each other as we should. I buy up a lot of collections and "lives" in a box from widows. How often do I open a box and have before me the sum of a man's life? Life is too short, far too short.
Depends on how do you think of 'billions", really. I will remain unknown for billions of people that I don't know and won't make a bit difference to my life but will probably be remembered by a few who shared life with me. This "few" is my world, my motivation to keep eating, shitting, fucking, and having kids. Other than that, I will always have my imagination to create stories and sidescapes to avoid this kind of observation (which is real, but too cruel).
This year I will turn 25. The exact half number of years that my father ever lived. He died at 50. I too feel that I haven't accomplished enough with my life, being half as old as he was, and only having achieved a fistful of mediocre goals: graduating from highschool, college and near obtaining my masters degree in Marketing. I spent almost 2 years of my life taking care of my ailing father, and would do it all over again if I had to... But it only made a difference for him and me, and maybe my mom. The rest of the world is not a better place because of what I did, and people who were around me at that time have abandoned me, seeming not to have learned a thing about people, love or even the most basic treats of human nature. Rest assured, most of us will be forgotten eventually. And there may even come a day when the names of Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Shakespeare, Darwin or Madam Courie will also be forgotten. Nothing lasts, nothing is eternal, and thank mother nature that we don't live 200 years... The only choice one really has is to make the best of the time we do have. Try and be as happy as you can be, knowing that that happiness also won't last forever is the best excuse you have to enjoy it more intensely.
Life can feel more like a curse than a gift at times. Everyone will struggle with shit in their life, no matter how happy they may seem. Go out as much as you can, make as many friends as you can, get drunk, get laid, eat, shit, sleep, laugh. Repeat over and over. Whether or not i'm remembered when i'm dead is of no concern to me, i'll be too busy being dead.
My father died just entering his 20's, I am now just entering my 30's... If you want to leave your mark and be remembered, you either need to do something amazing, or something unspeakably horrible for the world. Having kids won't do it, your grandkids will barely care about you when you die, and your great grandkids will never hear about you other than in passing, then that's it, your "living legacy" has no idea who you are. Life is short, shorter for some than others, so just man up and get on with life. No fucker is guaranteed to live until they are 98. I could die right now of an embolism or something before I even click "submit reply" or fall in the shower tomorrow morning and break my neck, etc etc. I don't worry about it, there's no point. If I had a real "death clock" and knew to the second when I was going to die, then it might be different, but I just go about my business every day.
Tachikoma pretty much sums it up perfectly. Why worry about it all, your only here the once just enjoy yourself before you go. Lost my dad when i was 4, lost my best friend & his mum when i was 26. Lifes harsh sometimes but thats just the way things are you either deal with it or let it crush you. For me when i lost my best friend it made me re-evaluate everything as he was 3 years younger than me. I started getting out more & enjoying myself before i watched life pass me by. I don't think far into the future it's pointless, i live one day at a time.
Life is short, that may be true. But it is what you make out of it. It is not all about putting more years into your life, but more life into the years. Go out and celebrate, have a GREAT time, donate something to a good cause, live your life to the fullest, witness something truly amazing.
This exact idea hit me at an estate sale the other week. Standing in someone's old home, surrounded by all their old stuff. All priced. And some old cunt is sitting up front being a bitch because some guy asks if he can pay $18 for a $20 item. Then I question what to do? Let things (not just material) sit and rot how they are - being pure to the previous moment in time, or try and give new life?
If you feel life is pointless, the best thing to do is make a mark and leave something positive to be remembered by. There are many things one can do with their life. Just don't waste it.
