How to keep degenerate fucktards from stealing your bicycle seat?

Anyone know? Obviously quick-release is the stupidest idea in engineering ever. I would love something along the lines of electro-shock but I don't think that's going to happen.

I was going to the gym to workout after work. The gym is on an intersection. Busy at day, but not so much at night. I usually park in front of the gym (on the busier street) but some asshole (two actually) decided to take up a whole side of the bicycle rack each. They've got these stupid racks here that are shaped like a bicycle. The only thing stopping me from writing a note saying "way to take up the whole rack, asshole!" is that I don't have pen or paper. Anyways, I'm like, "my bike always gets fucked with on the other side... but really don't have much of a choice, do I?" So, I park it there, go work out, and low and behond when I come out - no seat.

To top it off, the rack-hogging guy was out there getting his bike when I left. For a split second I thought about telling him (calmly) the advantages of bicycle parking etiquette... figuring I would lose my cool I just went on about my day.

 

you take the seat with you, and since they are degenerated .... well guess who they are shagging with, maybe their sister ?

(sorry for that sarcasm)

 

Maybe not electrocution, but something that uses a bladed weapon...

but since you SIT on the seat, that might not be a good idea.
Other than parking elsewhere, or paying somebody to tell you if he catches them (so you can take an aluminium bat and racket their craniums a bit), I really have not many ideas.

 

The razor idea sounds pretty good to me. I have to ride my bike a bit more, I'm so out of shape. My legs decided to quit working after paintballing for one afternoon...

 

I never understood the depraved people who steal *parts* of bicycles... once, they stole one of my wheels and left the rest of the bike :angry

 

I don't know why people think "quick release" anything is a good idea. People steal (or stole, I haven't ridden my bike in awhile) tires around here, especially off of Treks. A quick pull and twist of the lever and you have yourself a free tire.

 

the worst thing i have experienced was when my cykle computer was stolen and my smashing great sadle on my cool Mountain bike (at the time when i was thinner and lighter than now)

but now i prefer walking untill i will save some money up and buy a Mountain bike made specially for me again since they rule when they are custommade

but anyway the city i live in it has a very high crime rate

and i have lost many bikes out here because of the high crime rate(sometimes only the saddle and my steering thing but still damn i wish i could fight them and bust their balls those mother fuckers.)

and the whole area has even now muggeries and robberies (well to say it without pissing my great americans off

here in my municipality the criminals likes to play american crime gangsters

and as i said people it was not an offence of the people in America

and the mayor made a "charmoffensive" and said on TV and i qoute "there are no high crime rates in Hvidovre and no ghettoes"

so here is my reply to the mayor (although she is a pretty damn good social democratic mayor)

guess what bitch ? here in the city under your county there ARE high crime rates ! And there ARE ghettoes ! So what about shutting your mouth up instead of driving in cap to the mayors hall ?

since talking is silver (talk is cheap) but silence is gold.

 

...on that note, I've found that the best way to prevent theft is just to take the seat with you. Either that, or if you don't adjust your seat much, look into having the quick release on the seat replaced with a traditional nut and bolt - it can be done fairly easily, and while it doesn't make the seat theft-proof, it certainly makes the act of taking the seat look far more conspicuous, and almost impossible to do without some tools.

 

I bought my new post & seat today... low price of like $70. They say they have seat leashes. Basically attaches the seat to the frame a la chain. Not steal-proof, but they'll need a screwdriver on them to seal it.

I still like the razor blade idea better. I could at leaste soak the post in grease to annoy anyone that tries to steal it, but then risk ruining my own threads.

 

Just bolt the sucker on. Most thieves will just go looking for another seat.

I had a bike ripped off when I was a teenager. And to add insult to injury the guy decided to flatten the tires of my friend's bike right next to it. But lo and behold we caught the bastard a few months later and beat the shit out of him (well, more like hit him a few times and he ran away before any serious injury was done.) But he totally destroyed my $300 mountain bike, screwed the gear shifting mechanisim all up, busted off the break handles, etc.

 

And you just know the guy is sitting on the seat right now, laughing...

Solution: Use Roller Skates, inlines are done anway. We really need to bring back Roller Skates

 

But he only stole the seat - what's that to laugh about? Unless he's sitting on it upside down. I'd suppose you'd have to have quite a sense of humor to do that.

 

You try and use roller skates to skate on the streets.... it bloody kills! You need to use inlines with nice big wheels.

 

Especially here... it kills b/c nobody can drive. The only prerequisite to living in Hawaii besides being lazy and talking funny is be an awful driver. Look at my location.

 

Just buy a 'new' one by a tramp

 

i used to live right next door to a family of bicycle theives. it was a run down apartment building and i really didnt have any place to keep my bike except outside.

they stole my bike, i took it back, they would steal it again. i would call the cops id get my bike back but it was allways a big hassle.

then i had a great idea...i would attempt to make my bicycle look like junk unworthy of attention. i started out by striping the bike down, i peeled off all the decals fancy plastic bits. i painted everything with primer. then i got some of that fake rust in a can and painted around the welds of the frame and handle bars... i also changed out one of the hand brakes with an old one i had lying around...then to top it off i put some duct tape on the seat.

no one messed with my bike after that.

 

maybe some company should bring out new street safe look range - pre-rusted and bandaged from the factory...