Palm m515, Keyboard, Games, apps, take a look

Hey all you people out in Assmebler land, today I have up a totally excellent deal. Yes, today I have gone totally out of my god-dammed mind becasue I'm selling my most prized possesion, my Palm m515. Crazy? I know! But read on to see what an excellent super deal this ultra cool item is!

Up for sale (or trade) is a brand spanking used Palm m515, the best Palm pilot model ever made! Back in the day roits were breaking out over at Circut City when this came out. People were shooting each other, selling thier children, chopping thier body parts off to get thier hands on one of these babies. Civil war almost broke out over the availibility of this palm pilot! Why, becasue it is simply the BEST Plam piolt ever made. In fact, I hear the Catholic chruch is suppressing evidence that GOD HIMSELF came down and personally desgined this piece of personal organizing hardware. This my friends is not just a Palm Pilot, it's a piece of the devine in plastic and silicon. Yes, buy this Palm and not only will you go to heaven, you'll get the 72 virgins, the Dodge viper, the gigantic mansion, and an army of holy prostitute slaves to do your bidding. I am not kidding. Before I got this Palm pilot, I was a loser, a dork, I'd never even kissed a girl. And I was 25! Now I'm a super pimp playa livin' in the land of ladies, hot chicks dripping all over me, celebrites and porn stars commin' over and shit, it's insane. This palm pilot changed my life! AND NOW I'M GIVING THIS OPPORTUNITY TO YOU FOR THE LOW LOW LOW SUEPER-DUPER-EXTRA-CALIFRAGILISTIC-MORONIC PRICE OF:

$100 (or willing to trade for Oddworld: The Stranger for Xbox or some other cool crap you might have laying around.)

Crazy? I know! I'm out of my goldurned mind! But wait, that's not all dammit! THAT'S NOT ALLLLL!!!

Included is a foldaway keyboard, it in itself a $60 value. At least that's what it costs over at Comp USA. Every time I bust this out hot chicks walk over to gaggle at it, giving me ample views of thier gazongas and tons of phone numbers. Not making this up. Yes my friends, with this keyboard you will get laid.

Also a handy dany leather Palm case. It's leather, so a cow had to die for it to be made. Don't let that poor cow die in vain.

You also get a (15mb) memory stick with tons of dope-ass palm games included, including:

Bot's (like Bezerk)
3D Starfighter (polygonal 3d shooter with good graphics for Palm)
Acid Solitare
Artillery (aim your cannon and try to blow up someone else's cannon. FUN SHIT!)
Ask President Bush (click on his body and make him say some funny stuff)
Beer Kegger
Bomberman
Bejewled (not registered, sorry)
Dakota (overhead shooter)
Dreadling (shooter)
Galaxian
Gaydar (a "Gayness detector." More FUN SHIT!)
Lemmings
Minehunt
Muppy (Mappy Land for Palm, and plays very well I might add)
Missile Command
Palm reader (read e-books on your palm)
Paratroopers
Dirty Pidgeons (You are a pidgeon and you have to crap on passing cars. Very very fun, for real it is. Did I mention it was FUN SHIT!?)
Pocket chess
Recon (overhead shooter)
Star Soldier
Subhunt
Superduck (isolinear platformer with decent graphics for Plam)

also installed on the Plam are totally mindblowing programs like:

Address book
Calculator
Date book
Documents to go
Word to go (handles Word docs, of course)
Fungine (make your own shooter game! Dammit buy now!)
Memo pad
Note pad (write notes to yourself with the stylus)
Sheet to go (spreadsheets)
Slideshow (look at pictures)
Space war
Stickman (you're a stick man and you have to deflect a ball. Simple but very addictive, and oh yeah, FUN SHIT!)
To Do list
Tealpaint (draw stuff with the stylus and make little animated gifs too)

Also somewhere on there are naked pics of my Dad's ex girlfriend. I would delete them but I can't find them. So let's not talk about that anymore.

I see you all busting out your wallets, but before you paypal me $100 (or trade Oddworld: the Stranger for Xbox) let me tell you how crazy I am, becasue there is more! YES, THERE IS MORE!!!!!

You also not only get the installation CD for the Palm and keyboard (which has Documents to go on it and other useful programs that I didn't install,) You also get this BIG-ASS-BOOK called : "Mastering Palm Organizers" by Gayle Ehrenman and Micheal sombody, that not only tells you how to not be a loser with your Plam, but comes with over 900 Plam apps, games, and utilities. I could list them all, but 900 is a lot. I am tired now. I need some cheesecake.

I know what you're saying, you're saying "Hawanja, have you lost your mind? You're practically GIVING all this away for a measley $100. Damn man, let me give you $500, at least, so that I won't feel like I'm ripping you off." No, no, no, it's cool. I'm not in this business for the money. I am here to help people, people like you, people who haven't experienced the utter coolness and spiritual enlightenment that comes with owning a Palm m515. I know, it's a hard life, but did Ghandi have it easy? Did Jesus just give up when they were like nailing him to that cross thing and be like "Let me down, this hurts, I just want to give you all Palm Pilots!" Did Elvis give up? DID HE????

Well not me. YOU WILL EXPERIENCE THE ESTATIC JOY AND MINDBLOWINGNESS OF THE PALM m515! Don't make me go upside yo' head. You know you want it, give in to temptation. Don't listen to those other people who just want to TAKE your money and give you nothing in return, your girlfriend, your wife, those bill collectors. Let them all know that YOU ARE GOING TO STAND UP AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE! That's right, you and me and everyone else, we are changing the world, one Palm m515 at a time, and one day the world is going to be free, happy, healthy, with a good enviroment and jobs for everyone. But that can't happen if you waste your money on stupid cap, so buy a Palm m515 from me today!

Or trade Oddworld: the stranger for it. By the way, buyer pays whatever shipping costs, whatever they are. Damn US postal service! You will feel my wrath soon!




If you can't read my name there, you need glasses.



If you can't read my name here, you are blind.

Yes my friends, buy this Palm pilot and you will be farting through silk. Don't make me go to ebay so some jerkoff can buy it and never use it.

 

omg! i want 72 virgins!

 

PMed you! BTW, I really enjoyed your text

 

are you a car salesman by any chance ?

 

No, sorry. I do not sell cars.

To the lucky soul who buys I will also throw in a pack of Palm screen protectors. It's about half full, so there's about 10 of them. Damn, what a crazy deal!

 

Will you take a PAL copy of oddworld?

 

Sorry, I've got an American console so NTSC if you please.

 

If bigsexyolli doesn't walk away with it, I could possibly work something out with the Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath. I definately need a new Palm to replace my aging IIIc.

 

Oh my...

I have a firm belief that you could probably sell anything if you put as much effort into it as you did this .

 

Thanks to you all, at the moment a deal is being made with Bigsexyolli. Thank you all for your interest in the utter fabulousness that is the Palm m515. One day when we all have one, we can take over the world.

 

Man, you should become a writer

 

Hey Hawanja...love your site.....do you have any realllllly cheap stuff for sale....i have a playstation 2 silver pencil as sad as that is that im willing to trade

 

Got some stuff up on this thread:

http://www.assemblergames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5348