No music, TV, movies, or videogames? That's harsh, man. I couldn't stand to live without any one of those for an extended period of time (except maybe TV), let alone all of them at once. Videogames are the same as any other kind of entertainment - they're meant to stave off boredom in times when all of your friends are busy or you have nothing better to do. At the least, they're just something to pass the time. At most, you might learn something from them, or you might even feel inspired. Collecting just for collecting's sake is a whole different thing - it's a bit like an addiction. You do it out of habit past the point where it gives you any pleasure. However, collecting things to use just gives you more options when you're bored, and thus makes you less bored (theoretically). I know what you mean about lacking the motivation, sometimes. You shouldn't force yourself to do something you don't want to, but you also shouldn't cut yourself off entirely from things that you used to enjoy - if there's any chance that you might still enjoy them. I think we can all learn a lot from our past. You move on, over time, but I think sometimes it helps to reflect on who you used to be - and I think that very often you'll find that on a core level, you haven't really changed that much. As for what keeps ME going these days - lately it's just a fascination with the sheer breadth and variety of all the games and systems released over the years. There's also a sense of history involved, if you're playing older games. If I play a game from 1996, suddenly I'm thinking about everything that was going on in the world in 1996, and playing games can tell you something about the way culture and technology were headed in that time. Sometimes those things can lead to insights into why things are the way they are today. That can apply to almost any medium, not just videogames. Hardware is also fascinating - all the different partnerships between companies, the similarities and differences, the weird proprietary shit that only this one system used... etc. It's what being a nerd is all about.
I've been in that position before, I stopped playing games for 8 months or so... But it was the people I was hanging around with that sorter made me change my habits. I got straight back into it after that phase past. So that's what I'm guessing is happening with you at the moment, you're going through a phase and it happens quite a bit. I haven't really been keen on new release games either the last one I bought was Lollipop Chainsaw, and that was a disappointment... So lately I've gotten into comics, although I still play games but only ones online and the ones I enjoy like Blur and Flatout. What keeps me at gaming is purely the history, I find myself more interested in just the history than playing the games themselves. May sound weird or crazy, but with the way games are today, you're better off playing the ones from the golden times. There are plenty of people in this very community that will steer you in the right direction for games to get back into, and most of us here love historic games and not so much the current generation. Well I hope you get back into the gaming -scene- cause there are lots of games out there to get addicted again
It's really easy to get sidetracked by life. The more that you're immersed in keeping up what's around you, the less time you have to pay attention to your interests. Don't try to fill a void, though. Video games are great, but comfort is far greater. Once you can accept your surroundings for what they are, you might just be free enough to think clearly on matters that you previously could not.
Deep, although people go on and off things, the human way is to explore and move on, constant advancement, but sooner or later we go back to what we like what we enjoyed before like a big circle of life. different things are important at different times of our lives.
Here's what I see: You're looking at the big picture, which is normally an advantage... in this case, it's a disadvantage. Try to focus on one problem at a time, and tackle them in the order you find best. When you find you;re accomplishing a little at a time, the sense of reward is greater. That alone, could be enough to spark your obviously considerable imagination again. Take it as it comes, and, for fuck's sake, worry about yourself, not others. When things are as they are for you, it's okay to put yourself first. I've been homeless, jobless, friendless, penniless, and felt less of myself in the past. This is how I got through it. You will, too. I wish you nothing but positive energy.
Don't seek or even care about death if you're still alive. Life's a very underrated privilege, because most people mend it with their daily routines (which may or may not really suck) and get stuck in a negative rut. When you get stuck in a rut like that, it's like you're a pilot about to crash an airliner into a mountain that's easily avoidable. It's only once you realize that you're in control that your straight path to death opens up into a boundless sky. A lot of people get lost in between keeping themselves alive and keeping themselves happy. It's a psychological Bermuda triangle that fucks a lot of people over. Don't get stuck in the Bermuda triangle. You'll end up spending too much useful time trying to figure out how to temporarily run away from human-eating sea dinosaurs that are totally irrelevant to what's going on in the real world.
You need to get away! Far, far away from those people who are just too negative towards you. It sounds horrible! My family supports me and I have on friend who does as well, apart from that I think I'm hated by everyone else. In some way I understand the situation you're going through, it's difficult but keep your head up.
Never be afraid to be yourself. You might get off to a rough start if you're too afraid to be, but no matter where you go, you won't be comfortable doing anything until you're resilient enough to smile in the face of adversity. The question isn't so much, how can I be myself.. It's more so, "What do I want to do? What am I interested in?" It's totally understandable to be overwhelmed with so many negative things, that you really don't have much to say at times. Don't think it's your fault. You just have more to think about than holding lightweight social conversations. Think about what makes you comfortable, think about what makes you happy, think about what you enjoy doing. And to whatever might bring you down, figure out if it's worth keeping by addressing the situation. If it's really something that makes you unhappy no matter how you go about it, then cut it out of your life! Don't worry about how other people handle your public image. The public jumps to their opinions pretty quickly, but they're also pretty forgetful. The past cannot be changed, and until you let it go, it only sticks around to wake you up when you least expect it and haunt you like a ghost. Good people do exist. At times, they seem impossible to find, but they exist. And even if you can't find someone to talk about serious life situations about, it shouldn't stop you from finding a gaming buddy to chill with. If anything, doing something lightweight like that is a great start to getting your mind off of everything that sucks. I can't play 3DS with the 3D on myself. I move around too much, like I'm adding to the action of the game. I can't stay perfectly still like that. It screws me over playing Wii games with special motion sense actions, too. And don't cut yourself off from the world. It only makes a bad situation stagnate. Do something to refresh your mind! Whether it's meeting new people (whether online or offline), reading about something completely foreign that captures your interest, or even just enjoying the dynamic subtleties of nature, there's a lot you can do to help your mind wander off. The more your mind wanders off, the more you're breaking down your own pre-supposed paradigms that don't necessarily have to exist. The Bermuda triangle is just another part of the ocean. The only thing that makes it unique is the atmosphere that's applied to it. Speaking metaphorically, all you have to do is close your eyes and just enjoy the peaceful sounds of the ocean. In other words, don't think too much into what's going to ultimately screw you over. Take that effort and apply it to what you find beneficial. Everything's gonna be allllllllright!
