This is why men shouldn't write advice columns... "Dear Walter, I am writing to you seeking advice. I've often read your column and never thought that one day I might actually find myself seeking your assistance, but here goes. About 2 months ago my husband and I were at home. I needed to do some shopping and my husband declined to come with me, preferring to stay at home. Having borrowed my husbands car, I was only a matter or minutes down the road when it stalled and cut out completely. Unsure of what to do I decided to leave the car and walk the 20 minutes or so home. Imagine my shock when I returned home to discover my husband in bed with the young woman who lives next door? We have been happily married for 20 years, but in that time my husband has gone bald and put on some weight. I am in my 40's, whilst the neighbor is an attractive blonde, 15 years younger than me. On discovering them together, my husband confessed to having had a 6mth affair after he lost his job and his confidence. He got a boost from being found attractive by such a beautiful, younger woman. I have forbidden him from seeing her again, but I am not sure how to rekindle our relationship and put this sorry episode behind us, Please help, Susan" --- "Dear Susan, It was indeed a very unfortunate situation for you to find yourself in. I am however able to offer the following advice and hope that you can henceforth put it into practice: 1) Get off the road as quickly as possible to avoid obstructing traffic. 2) Switch on your hazard lights to warn other drivers. 3) If you suspect there might be a danger of being hit by another vehicle, get yourself and other passengers out of the car and clear of the traffic. 4) Put up a warning triangle 45 metres behind your car if you have one. Remember to be cautious when doing this and don't attempt it if it isn't safe. 5) In poor weather, keep your sidelights on. 6) Avoid standing by your car next to the traffic - stand the other side. 7) Call a breakdown service from a mobile. Remember, breaking down need not be a big disaster. Follow the advice above and you'll be on your way in no time, Regards, Walter"
Hehe, nice! It isn't only men who give such advice, though! http://failblog.org/2008/08/13/advice-fail/ I think perhaps someone (a woman?) might have twisted what seems to be a genuine printed article to give it an anti-men slant. ;-) One of my favourite websites, that, by the way ;-) *EDIT* Ah, never mind, it is a joke in Viz, apparently. Can't get much more male written than that! :lol:
HA! It must be doing the rounds! It was sent to me by a female friend, but when I went looking for it in my emails it was gone, so I typed it out as best I could remember it, copy and pasting from a motoring website the last bit. That's just typical lol I do remember that section in Viz... made me laugh so it did!
This reminded me of several jokes. You want another joke involving a married couple and a breakdown? A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push??" "No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened. She says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??" "But the guy was drunk," says the husband. "It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts "Hey, do you still want a push??" And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please." So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" The drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing---- "
Ah yes, missed that! heh. I dunno, I've seen longer. It's only about a minute when read out loud. That said, I've seen shorter, too.
Funny quotes: " Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." " If one does as Err does enough times, one becomes as Err is. " And from an IRC chat: Singing: <OzzX> row row row your boat, cuban refugees <OzzX> not too much longer now, you will reach the keys
