The crazy jap magazine thread

s0urce · Apr 29, 2004

I talked to SpetsnazX in #assemblerirc on irc.undernet.org about some jap mags and now I'm doin this thread.I'll post more stuff on my homepage soon :smt023

'DR. KOPA’S ‘FENG SHUI OF BRAND NAME GOODS’

1. This monthly column appears in Brand Joy, a popular woman’s magazine devoted to Japan’s love affair with brand name goods. One third of all designer goods purchased in the world are bought by Japanese consumers, and “Brand Joy” helps serious shoppers keep up with the latest trends and styles.
In the ‘Feng Shui of Brand Name Goods’, Dr. Kopa advises readers about which brand name goods will bring them good fortune, which colours are the luckiest, what type of jewellery to wear, and which side of their house is most auspicious for storing important items like designer goods in. Dr. Kopa also dispenses advice on lucky fruits, and warns about potential health , work-related and emotional problems that readers may face in the coming month, all the while shamelessly promoting his Ginza 115 shop, which, by an incredible coincidence, happens to sell all of the brands that he recommends in his column.

2. It is estimated that 40% of Japanese women own a product with Louis Vuitton’s name on it, and sales in Japan account for more than half of Louis Vuitton’s revenue despite consistent price rises (a Louis Vuitton bag costs 40% more in Japan than it does in France) and the prolonged recession.

3. “Ginza 115 Now Open!”. Dr. Kopa’s newest shop is “In a building that was constructed according to principles of Feng Shui, the top floor has three poles, the middle floor five, and the bottom seven, a design that allows benevolent spirits to enter easily.

4. Would you buy a $2000 handbag from this man?
　

5. Dr. Kopa uses Feng Shui to help you improve your fortune.” Feng Shui is an ancient Chinese art, which despite Dr. Kopa’s use of birth dates and predictions about the future, has absolutely nothing to do with astrology. It is actually a kind of geomancy whose practitioners try to balance and live in harmony with the energies of the universe.

6. People born in April are warned that they may be feeling a lot of stress, and that they are going through an unlucky period. They are advised that, “On days when something bad happens to you, put some bathing salts in the bath, and give yourself one squirt of perfume before you go out. Wear rings on your index and little fingers. Gold accessories will improve your talents.”

7. Lucky brand for people born in April: Christian Dior beige monogrammed makeup pouch will improve your chances of getting married.
Click to expand...

The next one is named "Knuckles" and is basicly a mag from a guy who runs around tokyo and does humilating photos.And I thought just americans would like humilating crap ;-)

You can see a drug deal,a flasher,pantieshots,beat ups,blah

More to come... ;-)

Paulo · Apr 29, 2004

cant wait! :smt043

s0urce · Apr 29, 2004

Men’s Egg is a men’s magazine with fashion tips and hairstyle advice, lifestyle articles, and some humour, but mostly, what it all comes down to is advice on scoring with the J-Girls. This page, sandwiched between articles on “Oppai gal ni kiku!” (How to ask out busty girls) and “Yareru otoko e no michi wa kewashiku nagai…” (The road to becoming a stud is long and steep) is all about how to write emails that will get you a date.
1. Konkai wa jyoshi koukousei o chuushin ni anke-to ni kotaetemorai, yoi me-ru, warui me-ru o tettei kenshou! Koko de manande hissatsu no me-ru o uchi, uteute no otoko e ippozenshin da!
”This time our survey centered around female high school students and after asking them what makes an email good or bad we made an exhaustive investigation of their answers. Writing killer emails like the ones you learned here is the first step towards becoming a stud.”
There are said to be more than 10,000 match-making websites in Japan, many of which boast of having membership lists in the hundreds of thousands. Anyone who’s ridden a train or sat in a coffee shop in Japan will have seen hundreds of people busily typing away at their cell-phones and many of them are sending messages to potential girl/boyfriends.
2. The OK/NG (no good) pictures are about the ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ of sending email. Most of the points are common sense things like ‘Be sure to include questions so that the person feels like they have to reply to your email’ or ‘Don’t be too brief because it seems cold’, but there are also some uniquely Japanese ones like “NG. Hajimete no me-ru de yobi sute”. It means “No Good: Dropping the honorific the first time you send an email to someone.” One shouldn’t drop the ‘san’ until you know the person well because even those Ayumi Hamasaki clones expect to be called ‘san’ or ‘chan’. On the other hand, don’t use polite forms. Instead of “Kyou nani shimashita?” use “Kyou nani shiteta no?”
3. ’Me-ru wa aku made renraku shudan!! Yarisuki ni chuui!’ Here, ‘Mary’, who sends an average of 30 emails a day, and ‘Asuka’, who sends an average of 50 emails a day, advise us that it’s not a good idea to send too many emails. Just how many that would be is not made clear however.
4. In this section, Mary and Asuka discuss what women discuss what women want in an email. Mostly, they say, They want him to be polite but not too formal and to express a little bit of his personality, without being too forward and warn that people who are too good at sending emails are regarded as not having developed the ability because they don’t feel comfortable with regular face to face conversation. Finally, they discuss whether it is appropriate for men to use ‘heart marks’ and other graphics in their emails. They decide that is okay as long as they aren’t overused and add something to the text, but later, Asuka tells us that the scariest email she ever received was from a man who wrote “” (Good night).
Click to expand...

CHAZumaru · Apr 29, 2004

This is the greatest thread ever.

PrOfUnD Darkness · Apr 30, 2004

LOL, tu funny. Please don't forget to post more about these mags....

PD

s0urce · May 26, 2004

updated on request,here you see some scary girls :smt023

A. Snow · May 26, 2004

Attack of the slut clowns. I hope that's not the latest trend in Japan.

GaijinPunch · May 26, 2004

A. Snow said:

Attack of the slut clowns. I hope that's not the latest trend in Japan.
Click to expand...

By no means latest... a few years old, and some of them are still around... makes it even scarier.

Yakumo · May 26, 2004

Aghhh, the above slut types are called Gangero Girls (hope that's spelt right) Some of them wouldn't look half bad if they didn't have all ofthat shite on their faces. As GaijinPunch said, that style is a few years old but you can still see a few of them around. Where I live there aren't many but in Tokyo there are still quite a few. Go to Shibuya, you'll be sure to see some there.

Yakumo

AntiPasta · May 27, 2004

if you want to see more quirky J-girls try google's image search for "Harajuku" :smt033

madhatter256 · May 27, 2004

Japan has its Goths, Spaz, and freaks. Same with the US.

Here's another wierd jap image. They are grooving to the music "Great Balls of Fire".

GaijinPunch · May 28, 2004

madhatter256 said:

Japan has its Goths, Spaz, and freaks. Same with the US.

Click to expand...

This pic is most likely from a Torture Garden Japan party, which is a spin-off of a party in the UK under the same name. I actually wound up translating at the first TGJ party... strange.

After being a pretty active participant in the Tokyo party scene, I can say that Goth is a pretty poorly represented sample. Goa Trance, on the other hand, is extremely well represented (unfortunately).

Here's another wierd jap image. They are grooving to the music "Great Balls of Fire".

Click to expand...

These guys get "most persistent weird hobby award". I remember seeing them my first weekend in Japan... they're still there now.

More Harajuku crap
http://www.v-k.jp/pc/special/photo/harajuku/

White chics join in the club
http://www.hispic-cafe.com/harajuku/harajuku20030713.html

Maybe I'll head out there this Sunday w/ the video camera... it would put the damn thing to use.

Blur2040 · May 28, 2004

Am I the only one who notices the similarity between these guys and.....

Henry Winkler!

Yakumo · May 28, 2004

Blur2040 said:

Am I the only one who notices the similarity between these guys and.....

Henry Winkler!
Click to expand...

The original cool guy !

Yakumo

SilverBolt · May 28, 2004

Blur2040 said:

Am I the only one who notices the similarity between these guys and.....

Henry Winkler!
Click to expand...

eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :smt023

PrOfUnD Darkness · May 28, 2004

Damn, calling that girls sluts is a offence to the real sluts...

The crazy jap magazine thread

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The crazy jap magazine thread

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GaijinPunch Lemon Party Organizer and Promoter

Yakumo Pillar of the Community *****

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