The key to a great sandwich

For generations, my family has been building up this country. Piece by piece, since the days of old, my once Polish family sought to find a new life of freedom in the states. It was there that they became known for many political achievements such as the rise of Lincoln, the assembly of the unification between countries to sort out their differences, aka The League of Nations, and many other things too vast to accommodate in this very post. But my ancestor's greatest triumphs? The destruction of the Berlin Wall. Taking from my ancestor's modesty, they let the president have the honor and credit. All the way through the history of the United States, the one thing that fueled them were our great sandwiches.

Absolutely no part of that incoherent rambling mess of exposition was true, but my dad can make a pretty good sandwich, I'll tell you how I guess

First, a list of things you'll need.
Salt n' Pepper
Bagels
Tabasco Sauce
Mustard
Rice
Chicken patty
Bacon
Eggs
Mac n' Cheese
Chips
Fries
Some slick-ass butter
And finally, a pan

So basically you just make a sandwich out of all this shit but first you have to toast the buns I mean bagels. Get a pan and spread the butter on the bottom half of each bagel half. Fry it in the pan. Cook the chicken patty. Cook the mac n cheese. Cook the bacon. Cook the eggs, Sunny-side, fried or scrambled. Fry the fries (or unfreeze them) and when you're done put everything else in that sandwich and pack it in with your hands.

The key to a great sandwich is just getting whatever the fuck you have in your fridge and stuffing it into a sandwich. It's really good but as you can imagine it's probably not the healthiest thing to eat so don't be eating 3 in one day no I don't regret doing that
The end~

EDIT: I don't understand why this thread is getting more replies

 

K

 

thx bby

 

I took your advice and decided to pull out a peach, dijon mustard, milk, baking soda, and raw potatoes.

Culinary perfection at it's finest - thank you chef.

 

It was my pleasure. I sense greatness in you, young one.

 

What ever happened to ham and lettuce, holy shit...

Way to go you filthy American, you've ruined sandwiches.

 

Looks like someone can't handle the intricate and delicate art of making a perfect sandwich. I hope one day you can be forgiven and see the true ways of the American sandwich masterrrace.

 

Mustardrice*.

 

Sounds good, I'll add it to the list of sandwich components

 

thx, i never knew how 2 make a sandwhich thx.

 

This sandwich may looks pretty huge with all these toppings ! But still seems good. Thanks for sharing.

Honey, Goat cheese, lamb's lettuce, bacon, butter fried panini buns and you have my perfect sandwich.

 

I like just cheese.

 

np babe

 

Sound advice, although - without pics, hard to trust.

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

Huh, this is very similar to how to make a great pizza. I've been taught by an authentic American and everything!

 

Margherita sauce, fresh basil, light garlic, a dash of oregano, fresh mozzarella, string cheese for stuffed crust, and a brushing of melted (garlic/salted) butter over the crust

Asking for toppings on a margherita pizza can come off as strange or even offensive. They think you're implying their signature pizza isn't good enough without them.

If you make one on your own, you can add whatever you want - squid, McDonalds chicken nuggets, eel perhaps

 

I was waiting for ASSEMbler's funniest user to put in his two cents.

 

They key is to not eat rotten ingredients. That's a free tip.

 

Like rotten milk, i.e. cheese? I mean, I'm totally with you on that, but I believe a lot of people wouldn't be.

 

There are lots of fine cheeses that you're supposed to grow mold on, and some would consider that to be rotten, so that's kind of a grey area.