Why are men happier?

Why ARE Men Happier?

Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress- $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood - all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

 

Men are no more complex or simple then woman, they are just raised differently (sociology). Also, seeing as they are one half of the most complex (mentaly) species in the world, i'd hardly call them 'simple'.

It can be changed, and not all weddings these days work like that. Thats a tradition that is firm in some places but not so in others.

Only for the mechanic.

Not true. Mutual consent on wedding plans are quite common.

Agreed. Girls tend to be much more concerned about figure then guys are.

I don't know any guys or girls that are concerned by this fact. Unless someone is a feminist or particularly interested in polotics this is just a fact of life that is considered 'normal'.

No, but that doesn't mean the concept of getting someone else pregnant is any less concerning. It's a life altering experiance for both parties involoved.

Girls can no more wear a white shirt to a water park without being stared at then a male can wear a thong without being stared at (or possibly thrown out).

I don't think many girls wear shirts to water parks either, they typicly stick to using the traditional two-piece bikini.

They do? When did this happen?

Because we all know that guys can go wherever they want without causing any problems *sarcasm*. Besides, if you'r talking about standing while going, i've heard that they do make some sort of pocket device that lets girls do the same.

Also not true (although the term 'icky' isn't used). But we'll deal with it better then most girls.

The mechanics thing again.

Yep, it happens sometimes, and when it does, you can sue them for everything their worth.

Thats a new one on me.

More expensive, yes, but I think your pushing it with those numbers.

Agreed.

Agreed...more or less

Because we buy ones that properly fit us. Its just plain dumb to buy ones that don't.

Not at all, most males mood changes just arn't sporatic. Also, 'mood swings' as their known as been labeled a disease by some, and caused by a chemical inbalance by others, and should be treated as such.

Relativly uncommon. But when something needs to be answered, once the answer is given, the conversation is over unless their are other matters worth discussing. Their is a difference between informal and casual calls. They can be combined at times, but you should know the difference.

No I don't. And assuming you'r talking about the military sort, I only know one person who is into that sort of thing. It is not universal gender-based knowledge.

Use larger suitcases. Then again...

...We understand the necessity of physical strength. Its not necessary to be muscle-bound per say, but everyone (regaurdless of gender) should have the strength to do everyday things. Girls tend to not have the necessay strength not due to anatomical restraints, but due to the fact that they think being physicaly weak makes them more attractive.

Actualy, are you talking about school? If so then I can say that back when I was in my pre-college schools it was normal for girls to have far higher grades (both extra credit and otherwise) then the guys.

And why not? Casual friends, friends, good friends, and best friends are all different. If say a best-friend forgot to invite you, then obviously you'r going to think less of them, but if someone who was a 'casual-friend' or just 'friend' forgot, its understandable and can be forgiven (probably with a joke or two).

So? How does cheaper underwear make men more simple creatures?

Casual, work, and show. Sometimes the later two can be combined. The only reason to have more is if your concerned with color cordination. Unlike traditional cloth-based clothes, shoes take a great deal of time to get dirty enough to need to be washed, so thats not a problem. Variety in the wardrobe is pointless when it comes to shoes, as very few people will notice them.

Strap problems?

We can very much see them, but they lack importance.

Girls wear makeup when they want attention. Yet they complain about guys paying too much attention to them.

Agreed.

Yea, but it grows blazing fast.

Um, no. Asuming you'r talking about things like action figures, society does not accept such things unless you are a collector (in which case its still a bit iffy), or work as an artist, in which case they can be considered 'inspiration' material.

Male hips are actualy proportionaly smaller then girls ones.

I thought you said males had 1-3 pairs of shoes several statements up?

I personaly don't wear shorts. Ever. Plus i've known several girls with legs that looked terrable wear shorts.

Never seen or heard of that being done before. People biting their nails off seems relativly common though.

One particular girl that used to go to my school told me that it makes guys look more distinguished and attractive sometimes. Different things on different genders makes them attractive. A guys option to grow a mustach is no different then a girls option to get a boob job (they are both mutualy exclusive).

Don't know about that, never tried. But I could swear thats what my mother used to do (They wern't the kinds of gifts someone could have put alot of thought into getting).




Now, for the love of all that is good, don't ever write something that long and response-provoking again.

 

Fabrizio, bored?

 

Liquitt im off to find some more of these

 

hhahahahaahhhahahahahaha "a complete analysis of men stereotypes" by Fabrizo

 

ha ha ha how funny all that male schuvinistic bla bla inserted into a "why men are more happy". But hey the danes are statitistically speaking the worldst most happy people.

So other than that , no comment to the "funny".

 

Both posts I find funny.

As for the Wedding plans being mutual. Two words... "Yes dear". Thats how marriages last..

 

i find an exacto blade is perfect for doing my nails....and the hedge trimmer never hurt to get rid of that 'bread.......oh and my breifs....i get five days worth before i change em............








lol.......not

 

I trim my bread with a weed eater.

 

I clean my nails with a pencil.

BTW, Fabrizo this was probably meant to be a joke. Just look at who posted it!

Sorry, but you kind of sounded like an ass. No offense.

Edit: Not why men are happier, but I have one that is true of a lot of men, IMO.

"Never touch the hips, front/or sides of the thighs on a man's pants because thats where he wipes them when he gets his hands dirty or touches something gross. ":smt082

 

i found that the weed-eaters left a little fuzz.....i usuallly like to clean the carpet with the lawnmower and use the hood of my car as the dining room table

 

I've got a few:

You are never unsatisfied in bed.
You know how to use a computer.
You can use your brain and drive at the same time.
You can make a full course meal with a bag of chips, half a hot dog bun, and squeezie cheese.
You don't need help moving.
You don't have to ask for directions.
You spend $8 on a haircut.
You spend five minutes at the grocery store.
You spend two minutes at the department store.
You can get up fifteen minutes before work and get there on time, showered, shaved, and fully dressed.

Disadvantages to being a man:

Cops give you tickets becasue you don't have tits. Fucking cops.

 

This one isn't true for me. I like my hair fairly long, and most barbers can't do a decent haircut for shit. They just cut until there's nothing left (speaking from a bad experience ). I go to a "beautician."

 

Heh mines long and I just don't get it cut...its been over 2yrs now since I had a haircut!

 

Wtf...A beautician!

...Do you ever get tempted to have a full manicure and leg wax while your there

jk

 

I'm concerned about my hair (err, on my head). Not so much my nails or leg hair .

 

I too spend about $26. I don't have long hair, its just that the girl that cuts it, and I always go to her, I spend $11 for the cut and $15 more for tip. I like how she does my hair and shes hot...

 

So.. um, I have some responses to these.


Your last name stays put.

In Mexico, you have TWO last names - Father and Mother, so her name stays as well.

The garage is all yours.

The garage is directly under my room. One day, I will die of CO2 poisoning.

Chocolate is just another snack.

What are you talking about? Chocolate is THE STUFF LIFE IS MADE OF.

You can never be pregnant.

No, but you can GET SOMEONE pregnant, and have to pay for everything. Always wear one of those funny balloon things. Some even glow in the dark!

The world is your urinal.

If you're talking about me taking a piss on mankind, then I agree.

Same work, more pay.

I make 160 dollars a month, and I graduated top of my class. All of my bosses ever have been women.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

But I've had people stare at my groin

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

I only wear sandals everyday. They're hard to match with my expensive suit, though

One mood - all the time.

I'm manic depressive, post-treatment. Enough said.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Not if you're in charge of answering the phone for a Japanese school

You know stuff about tanks.

So does my girlfriend. She loves everything that can blow shit up like that.

You can open all your own jars.

My sister opens them for me.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Agreed. I would like pink boxers, though, and there are none to be found

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

Agreed. Especially when you only wear sandals

You almost never have strap problems in public

But you do have to fix your package on the bus.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

I found a white hair in my beard the other day...

You only have to shave your face and neck.

I'm not going to comment on this one, other than saying "not always true"

You can play with toys all your life.

I'm still waiting for my next paycheck so I can get an Anakin Skywalker lightsaber at Wal-Mart

Your belly usually hides your big hips.
I like chicks with big hips, actually

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

I choose not to. My legs are white like an european's legs. And I'm definitely not white.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

I do my nails.
I usually use two types of file on them, and, though I haven't done it much recently, I use black nail polish. Used it a lot more in late highschool/early college, when I dressed in black every day, but that's a whole other story...

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

So you can look like a 70s pornstar?


Heh, it's a funny list nonetheless. Good post, VA.

 

Ok, lemme try.

ONLY IF YOU DO IT YOURSELF loollololoololololol

That's sort of true.....I'm always fixing females computers, but I'm also always cleaning porn spyware off male computers!

Maybe, but I can also fail my driving test twice!

Yes, it is true that males can make themselves larger faster and simpler.

Yeah, screw the skeletal system, and I'm supported by a series of air filled bladders.

Yeah thats not true for me, because I freaking got lost in a friends house once and thought the bathroom was the exit. They had like 4 doors that lead outside! AGGGGGGGG!

Mine was 10, and I have hair past my neck, so I must be getting a deal! Actually it's a rip off since all she does is cut the ends and then go YOUR DONE MONEY PLS

I spend 24 hours a week at one, but then again I work there!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!

Not if your actually buying a game from one! Wait what the hell is a "department store", I haven't heard that word for awhile...

ONLY IF YOU DO IT YOURSELF

 

XerdoPwerko: I think you are a goth type too, just like the female friend, you introduced me to.But can you ask her if she thinks i am stupid or something, since i have a feeling she is pissed off at me at something, even though i am just the person that i am plus i got my mood swings too. So can you ask her , if i have done something that makes her ignore me ?