> The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby > English will be the official language of the European Union rather than > German, which was the other possibility. > > As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that > English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year > phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'. > > In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this > will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in > favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one > less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when > the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like > fotograf 20% shorter. > > In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be > expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. > > Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have > always ben a deterent to akurate speling. > > Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the > languag is disgrasful and it should go away. > > By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as > replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. > > During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords > kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten > styl. > > Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu > understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. > > Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted > in ze forst plas. > > If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
Wat za hel, zis is not ze vay German peopl talk! In fact, many speak much worse English than that! I admit that the German accent is far less charming than the Scandinavian (like eating pancakes!) or Indian one. But also take a look at other countries like France or Japan... I think our English isn't as bad as everybody says, it's more due to the awful accent :lol: Furthermore think about e.g. "Ü Ö Ä". Why are all the "Krüger"s renamed to "Kruger"? Or why is "München" suddenly called "Munich"? There are no German "translations" around for any English cities. Is an "ü" so hard to pronounce? Much easier than a "th" I must say!
WTF ??? Jesus Mother Fucking Christ. God damn it, sitrus instead citrus ? I have studied my arse off, learning in some ways the British English language. And now they are going to make it easier ? Kunt instead of Cunt ? eerhm is this a joke ? I truly hope it is a joke.
Gosh that joke was so old that you could carbon date it. English is already the official language of the European Union anyway, the joke is that the Europeans can speak to each other in English quite well but they need a translator to speak to anyone from the UK...
If there is one thing that the English language is not, that thing is "beautiful." I am a native speaker, and I am very fortunate to not have to learn it as a second language. Spanish has more finesse, although I'd much rather learn French just because it's pleasant to the ear and it makes American girls want your dick. I should take another foreign language course. Also, you post some weird stuff, virtual alan :lol:
Pro Tip: Make the subject actually have something to do w/ the contents of the original post, and watch your internet popularity soar (not plummet).
I think the world would be better off learning Esperanto as an auxiliary language. That doesn't mean people should stop learning other languages -- just that we need one for ease of international communication. I'm not going to learn five different languages just so I can travel across Europe, for, example. (I know this won't change anytime soon, but it's the principle of the matter.) And no, English doesn't count. Bullshit language it is. I only know it so well because it was my primary language, but even I see how it's quite backwards in some ways.
languages are in continuous change. nowadays even much faster than ever before. so i give a shit on uber correct orthography, since when you think you learned something correct, in fact it's already outdated in the meantime. plus add all the slang and again you will get a complete different language. a never ending story and life-task i just haven't the time for.
I can't really hold anything against languages themselves.. that is, natural languages. They've formed from such a basic start over so many thousands (and more, depending) of years and wound up where they are now today. I don't really think someone was keeping track of "does this sound consistent?" or anything like that. I just dislike modern attitudes toward languages, that's all. Of course, adopting a universal language isn't exactly the most convenient prospect now either..
