Airline Travel is officially absurd.

Just got back home to Japan after spending 7 weeks in the US. The fact that I didn't kill anyone along the way is a miracle.

You don't just drive to the airport and get on the plane anymore. Those days are long gone. And it has nothing at all to do with security. I've taken 7 flights over the past 7 weeks and I've realied that getting through security is the easy part.

The whole deal about arriving 3 hours before your flight is simply a way the airlines save on labor costs. It has nothing to do with anything else. The line for American Airlines wasn't long when I got in it. But they had a total of 3 people serving the entire American Airlines international counter. It took an hour to get through it even though at most there were about 30 travelers in front of me.

At one point one of the reps had to deal with a minor flying alone which took about 10 minutes to check in. At the same time there was some problem with another traveler that required about 10 minutes of phone calls and visits from about 3 different airline employees. During this 10 minute span that meant that all travelers were being serviced by one rep. The line was a parking lot. I went from thinking about what I'd have for lunch before the flight to wondering if I was going to make the flight.

And I was one of the lucky ones. The length of the line tripled after I got in. People were talking about not being able to make their flights. They were trying to cut in front of others saying that they were running out of time, but everyone in front of them was also running out of time. We started a mock cheer every time someone got to an open counter.

So when the airlines talk about arriving early because of new security measures, it's all bullshit. The fact is that people trickled through the check-in counters so slowly that the security line was empty when I arrived. Total time: About 2 minutes. I made my flight with about 15 minutes to spare.

Which brings me to my next point.

Things are so goddamn spread out now that I'm convinced the entire airline industry is secretly controlled by shuttle bus manufacturers. In Japan when you fly internationally you go through Tokyo. But now Tokyo has 2 airports, a domestic airport and an international airport. When I was flying to the US I had a 3 hour layover in Tokyo. As it turns out that's the minumun you can have. It took nearly 2 hours on a shuttle bus between airports because the international airport is closer to fucking China than Tokyo.

After checking in and going though security I made it with 6 minutes to spare. That's just absurd. I asked the guy how long I had and he told me. I had 3 options: 1) Use the bathroom, 2) Buy some reading materials, or 3) have a smoke. I had a smoke. I needed one. When I landed at the domestic airport in Tokyo I walked out of the terminal and the bus was there waiting for me. I'm a nervous flyier and I have a smoke after flying but since the bus was there I decided to just get on. Thank God I did that. If I had had a smoke and caught the next bus 10 minutes later I would have missed my international flight. Because 3 hours apparently isn't enough time to connect to an international flight in Tokyo.

When I returned to Japan tonight I had to go through the same process again. Two hours again on the shuttle bus. The flight to my city is only 1 hour and 20 minutes. After I land in my city it's another hour on another shuttle bus since the new airport in my city is closer to Korea. So I spent 1 hour and 20 minutes on the plane and over 3 hours on shuttle busses going between airports. Absolutely stupid.

The airport in my city is so far away from the city that it's just as fast to take a flight from Fukuoka which is the city next to mine. Fukuoka airport is in the middle of Fukuoka and right off the urban expressway. I can choose to spend on hour on a shuttle bus to the airport in my city, or an hour on a shuttle bus to Fukuoka. I mean they literally put the new airport so far away that it takes just as much time to fly out from a completely different city. How's that for absurd?

I'm done with the shuttle busses. From now on I'm taking the Shinaknsen to Osaka and ditching all of the conencting flights to my city. My plane touched down in Tokyo at 3:45 PM. I arrived in my city at 10 PM. That's over 6 hours of flying, riding on busses, and waiting. The Shinkansen from Tokyo to my city is 4 hours. I'm more than happy to pay extra for the Shinkansen ticket just to avoid the hassles.

LA is a bit better in terms of shuttles, but now I realize it's better to get a hotel close to the rental car company than the airport. I stayed at a place right next to the airport, but when I left the hotel this morning I had to drive about 3 miles away from the airport to the rental car return. Then it was another shuttle bus to get me back to where I started. The bus dropped me off at the wrong terminal. That means they dropped me off at the wrong building. The correct terminal was a 20 minute walk away, then I had to get in the line I talked about before.

It's all just took frustrating and time consuming for me. I'm still pretty pissed off about the whole thing even tho I'm home now...

 

You are so right, it would have been far quicker sitting on a boat from USA to Japan! <Cough!>

In my previous job I was travelling by air fairly frequently (sometimes up to 6 flights a month), which did get pretty tiring and I understand the frustrations. I'm also fairly ecologically minded and tried to keep flights to a minimum, but sometimes you are just forced to take the fastest option for the sake of your work's diary!

On the otherhand I did find that where air usage comes undone tends to be when you are on the ground!

However, given the alternatives such as going by boat, flying is still the easiest option and frankly the cheapest!

You should have been happy as a gamer - a Nintendo DS or Sony PSP becomes your best mate on a long haul flight!

 

I used to travel a HELL of lot a few years ago......and security and poncy check-in etc is just a joke.

Count yourself lucky that you don`t travel through the UK now

Articles on local papers here over the past week or so saying quicker to check in/travel via Tel Aviv than Heathrow

 

Heathrow is a shit hole ! Never have I seen such a dump of an airport. The staff know jack shit about anything, some can't even speak English !! Signs are pathetic (if you can find one) and as for getting to the National Express Center from the airport.... Forget it ! Manchester is so much better than Heathrow.

Yakumo

 

Man you should check the Roissy Airport is Paris it is 100 times worse than Heathrow, this one is a shit hole!!!

Sabre

 

I've been to Heathrow, crowded but not bad IMO, CDG Paris on the other hand... true shithole! a dirty shithole, garbage everywhere :\

 

Welcome to 2001. Airlines scrimping has been painfully apparent for a while, but 9/11 made it even worse. I used to have a 50/50 shot of getting a few seats on a Narita to Dallas flight. The last one of those was a flight on about September 27th, 2001 (when everyone was still too afraid to fly). Next flight I took a few months later and every one since then has been balls packed.

 

I do between 4 to 8 long haul flights a year for most of the time the experience is pretty hassle free. Tips...

Don't fly american carriers. Seriously the worst flights I have had have been with United and American.

Take direct flights. Seriously if you're going to whinge about having to catch other planes to get to other countries then tough, spend the few extra hundred dollars and fly direct.

Complain. Seriously when the Cathy Pacific flight I took from Tokyo Nartia to Hong Kong had 4 desks open and a queue that went around the block, I put my bags down, went to an agent and asked her given the long queues of people why do they only have 4 agents checking in. They said they had understaffing and a computer failure, but they soon increased it to 6 and the queues went down quickly, I managed to get upgraded too.

Check in online. It's not great but most companies do offer this service and it can cut queueing down to half.

Tokyo Narita, now I don't mind checking in very early there as they have free internet access, decent facilities and a great food court.

 

Remind me never to go dining with you.

 

So far best checkin and security checks ive had were in Hong Kong. My hotel was like 15mins drive from the express train station. Got to the train station used the check in service there. So for £6 i got express train to the airport and got to dump all my luggage 50 feet from the taxi and not have to worry about it.

 

Hey, try Port Sudan "international" airport. Gee, as if flying a second-hand delapidated Chinese 747 with Sudan Airways isn't bad enough, getting there is even worse :lol:

(though it looks quite cool in the middle of the desert with horizon all around, save for a few AA guns standing around)

 

That may explain that airport/dump in the 5th element (the director is french).

 

I remember when I went to Sweden the first time, getting there wasn't bad. The Atlanta airport I went to (Forget the name) was pretty empty and we didn't have too much of a wait. However, coming back was pure hell: the airport in Washington D.C. was full of asshole airline people and you couldn't get help from anyone. Hell, security was much more a pain in the ass just getting back to Nashville then it was going to Sweden. I think it might have been because it was a much bigger city, since smaller cities with international airports don't seem to have that problem.

 

La Guardia. Still not long after the 9/11 attacks and security checks taking far too long, there's a MASSIVE line going through the snake-shaped thing and out the door. All these dumb old white fucks were asking the luggage guys "what's the difference of checking in here w/ you?". "We work on tips, they work by the hour". Having worked in the real world myself for many years and being able to read between the lines, I scrambled over, gave him my bags, hand-shook him a $20, and 5 minutes later, was kicking back at the terminal, waiting for my flight. Best $20 I ever spent. I would've missed my flight for sure.

 

American airports are the worst to fly from. The security staff and immigration people in general are absolute Nazis. They live to make your life a pedantic misery.

 

Have to agree with Jamtex - American Airlines are TOTALLY useless. NEVER fly with them.....if there's a military coup and they're the only flight out before civil war....then *stay* in the country....american really suck.


Their aircraft are the oldest I've ever been scared to fly on.

If you're on standby then they SEND your bags irrelevant of whether you get on the flight - that f*cks you if you choose to fly to a diff airport. And security is therefore a joke - Pam Am Lockerbie flight comes to mind...

They dont' clean their terminal (in LA) - disgusting floors and rubbish everywhere - this isn't nitpicking....it's a joke.

When they loose your luggage they can't tell you where it is - I had six people giving me different answers....totally f*cking usless.

They cancel flights and don't make any attempt to put on replacements.

They overbook as the norm.

Their staff are in general untrained - sample of 10 staff - I got 1 who knew what they were doing.

Their planes have no TVs on their headrests - you share a 15" monitor high up which has lost it's colour - along with another 10-15 people - so u all watch the same thing.

Their self checkin should be avoided it's slower than waiting for a desk person to check you in.

I'll happily go on TV/court and swear how bad they are.


On the plus side EOS airlines are superb........

 

British Airways/Virgin Atlantic/Emirates are the best IMO.

 

Funny how two of those airlines are British. But yeah Virgin - Excellent, I happily pay more then BA to fly with them. BA are good but their reward program is a joke. I also like JAL (international flights) too as they are pretty good.

 

Maybe I'm lucky but I've never missed a flight, had lost luggage, had a rude customs agent or security guard, etc. I keep hearing horror stories about US customs agents and I prepare myself every time I go up there but so far they smile, look at my passport, and waive me through.

I've never been pulled out of line or questioned or anything. I'm guessing that I don't fit any profile.

 

Yeah, the possibility of civil war in a first-world country is always my #1 consideration when picking airlines...