LOL yeah itunes is wack... there is a program to explore your iphone but im not sure if that works on all models.
It's called iPhone explorer, I've not come across an iPhone or iTouch that couldn't be accessed with it. I love the program as it lets me use my iPhone as a data storage device, something that should have been implemented from the start. If apple wanted to control the data drive side of things then surely they could just add in something as part of iTunes or something like iVault (I made it up) which would let you sync random files, it would be a pain in the ass and still archaic but a step in the right direction at least.
You got off lucky in the end. Here's why my iTunes looks like: I had an MP3 player and bought an iPod so I had to transfer the songs. I transferred them from my MP3 player to my PC, then imported them into iTunes so they could go onto the iPod. When I was done I deleted the files from my PC since they were just there for the transfer. Guess what? Not only does iTunes still reference the long since deleted files, it also says that it will delete the songs from my iPod if I delete the reference in iTunes. So now my iTunes references thousands of songs that no longer exist on my PC...all so I don't lose them on my iPod. I contacted a friend who is a Machead and he explained to me that I wasn't using iTunes in the way it was intended to be used. I guess it's my fault.
I just set my iTunes to make a new copy in a library whenever I put a song in iTunes, so I can safely remove the files from my download map or whatever and have a copy stored in my documents on the computer. Else moving files around makes iTunes very inconvenient, yes.
what are the specs of your PC? i'm running a moderate laptop and everything is fine, iTunes isn't slow. in case you noticed, Apple has requirements for iTunes on their website: "Intel Pentium D or faster processor is required to play standard definition movies." My laptop has a 2.21 GHZ Core 2 Duo processor, with 4GB of DDR2 RAM. It loads just fine. I did notice though that on my old Pentium D desktop computer iTunes store took a little long to load, but it wasn't really anything to complain about.