Good Joke!! (Political so don't read if you're uninterested)

4 Parachutes

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but
only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the
best NBA basketball >player; the Lakers need me, I can't afford to
die." So he took the first >pack and left the plane.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton said, "I am the wife of
the former >U.S President, a Senator from New York, and a potential
future president And I am the smartest woman in American history, so
America's people don't want me to die." She took the second pack and
jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm the Senator from the
great state of Massachusetts". I am also democratic parties' nominee
for President. So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped.

The fourth passenger, President George W. Bush, said to the fifth
passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and
served >my country well, I will sacrifice my life and let you have the
last parachute."

The girl said, "That's okay. There's a parachute left for
you. America's smartest woman took my schoolbag."

 

Mega old joke , but it's been ripped off for politics

Here is a more political joke for you though.

The Americans spent millions developing a pen which could work in space...

The Russians spent a few dollars and took a box of pencils ...

 

ooh..ooh...here's a good one...stop me if you've heard it....England spent millions of dollars and countless lives to colonize a country and then lost it to underfunded, undertrained, malnurished, farmers/soldiers only to see that country do more in 228 years that any country in history...that ones timeless....(just kidding guys...just a comical response to his joke)

 

OH!!!!! GREAT COME BACK! PWNED!!!!! xD.

 

Dammit, we're not GameFaqs, enough of the "Pwned". Although that was a pretty funny comeback... :smt043

It's rather funny - I've heard that one before, only the people involved were the Pope, a little kid, the president, and someone else - might have been the British Prime Minister, but I can't remember. Pope and kid are the ones left behind. I heard that one back when Clinton was in office, so you can see how these get around. :smt042

 

Yeah, heard that one when I was a kid, but it Hillary was replaced with the world's smartest black guy. Kinda racist. I think Kobe should've taken the back pack -- you have to be that stupid to bone some ho when you've got a hotty at home.

 

But we only sent the people we didn't want :smt023

 

:smt043 :smt023

I heard today that Tony Blair is following God, oh sorry George Bush about this Israel thing. The soft bastard. He shouldn't have gone. Anyway I'm now going to have to think of a "So far up someone's arse" joke.

Yakumo

 

:smt042 The Russians can keep the money they saved on the pen as they need it....heres a link to show the state of the Russian space program...quite a funny read..

http://www.chumworth.com/russian_space_program.shtml

 

Beraing in mind the article is 5 years out of date and biased, they've been spending money building some of the most amazing submarines and fighter planes ever conceived. Submarines like the Kursk (though unfortunately had a disaster and everyone drowned) were built with 2 hulls, it could survive multiple torpedos on the outer hull yet the inner hull keeps everyone safe. And then there's planes like The Sukhoi Su 47 which cannot be matched for aerobatics by any other aircraft known to man. Don't forget fuels such as AquaLene or the 'Marabu' plasma stealth generator either :smt023

 

what happened to that brainchild bush's plan to put a man on the moon, did someone finally clue him in on that one, im glad there's at least 59million stupid people in this country to vote for him :angry

oh and im glad he cut pelle grants by 20% thanks a lot buddy, i really wanted to pay more money to go to school, hopefully the 20% got put into at least five bombs to drop on some hospitals or libraries. my country i'll say what i want :smt083

 

waitaminute- "plasma stealth generator?" What the hell is that?

You mean like stealth technology, like in Star Trek, or what?

 

stupid people voted for Bush??? that's a bit of a generalization isn't it?? I'll be happy to compare education and IQ to anyone...I might not win every example but to call Bush supporters stupid...that shows your own intelligence...thats as bad as a racial generalization...I've never said one supporter or another is more intelligent...that would be stupid! I hope Russia is doing well as a great deal of my heritage is from Russia, Sweden and England...I was just pointing out a funny article...

 

asdf

 

Something like that hehe. It creates a dampening field around the object (in this case the next generation MiG) using a variety of plasma. The plasma absorbs the detectable radiation, which makes it truly invisible to radar :smt033

 

too bad they can only afford to build 2... :-D :smt023



I'll take the f/a 22

 

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a worthwhile President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves properly, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:



1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".



2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.



3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.



4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.



5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.



6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.



7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "sh*t".



8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".



9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.



10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.



Thank you for your cooperation

:smt043 :smt043

 

http://www.assemblergames.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?p=32732#32732

:smt083

 

maybe my joke was old...but that revocation is just as old....I"ve read that at least twice on the ASSEMbler board alone....guess we should both read more new material
:smt023

btw...I wouldn't attack the French...thats like sending the army to attack a troupe of Boyscoutts because they called you "Dumb".... besides if we attacked France they'd launch their WMR's (weapons of mass retreat) :smt042

 

MR. Legit what has the former norwegian lead singer in Aqua (her name is Lene) to do with fuel ?

AquaLene Aqua Lene ;-)