My friends are out growing me

So recently it's hit me, everyone I used to speak to on a daily bases have become somewhat less friends. I attempt to make contact with them every few days for a quick exchange of updates, but I get about 2 responses and I'm no longer important.
I'm still the one without a job, and no where is hiring and it's just a game of silence. So recently I've been playing GTA Online, which all my friends wanted to play and guess what? None of them play it. I feel like I'm not someone they want to do activities with any more, I used to hang out with them on weekends, and go to the movies here and there but that hasn't happened for months!

The question I'll most likely be asked is: "Have you told how you feel to your friends?" I've asked this in the past to them, and I get the same bullshit answer of "I have no time" or "I've been busy" and so on. My father works full time and he has time to do stuff around the house, look after the family and a whole bunch of other not important things like going to store to buy parts for his car and work on his hobby. These friends I have are my age in their 20s, with casual jobs how can they just not have time? Oh and also they seem to be on facebook quite often, so I doubt it's generally saying they don't have time.

I'm sure this has happened to many of us, but I really feel like they are outgrowing me now no one joins me in online games any more, and I haven't seen them in person for a very long time. I do feel like I don't have friends any more, and feel alone by this recent event. It hasn't made me feel any better either as I'm staying up very late and waking up late in the day, I have no reason to go out any more...

Ah well, guess this draws the line...

 

Its called "getting older"

 

I didn't want to be that guy...but I have to agree. I graduated college, got my own place and a stayed close with many of my friends for a couple years. Now a bunch are moving, have things going on with their significant others, personal lives, career, you name it. Now I'll see most of my friends only about once or twice every two weeks or so. That's just what happens once you start to get to mid-late twenties. That is unless you're friends with the fist pumping bro party type. They don't usually slow down as fast >.>

 

Sometimes i feel the same. Friends, what are they, who are they and where are they. Sometimes i feel lonely, i remember myself not to look on facebook. Its more depressing then. If ppl dont want to play online with you atm, try adding strangers, it can give some online friends. And that way ive met my gf, and she is actualy the only true friend offline for me. My ex, now a friend moved recently to ireland and thats a good/bad thing. She was ok, but now its nearly imposible to go to concerts or whtever. 1 other friend of mine findout that twitter may give some surprice friends and appointments. I think it fills us just enough.


and i dont know what you do daily, but i think no job, no school, always home can make one even more lonely.


my gf, is unemployed atm. She tries to write a book, play minecraft and searches for a job. My wish for us all is that we can have a job and enjoy the days. She want to do a unpaid job till she get a real job if no job offer after a month from now. I think it helps her being with people.

and maybe there is a hackersspace near you? Or a gameclub? I sometime visit one and talking with ppl there is fun. I dont mind i cant call them friends, it makes me happy enough.


if you ever visit the netherlands, give me a pm.

 

The question that is stuck in your friend's mind is : "Am I going to be the last one playing GTAwhatever? Is this all there is? Does the world end here?"
I had a similar experience during my studies. People would finish off and leave the common house. At some point it hitted me: why is everyone leaving EXCEPT me?
It was pretty obvious the reason being me actually STAYING there, and NOT the others leaving.

This is called change. Life is full of it. Be strong. Be part of the change. Reinvent yourself. Or die trying. But for God's sake (or whomever you do / do not believe in), do not ignore this.

 

Any real friends will stick around and want to do things with you etc, if not they're either genuinely busy or struggling with other things in life.

it happens, gotta learn not to rely on other people maybe find some new people? or get active do some classes / courses at night or whatever is available in your area, at the very least will help with the feeling alone, and possibly meet new people.

 

I hear ya buddy. As Bad_Ad says it's part of getting older. I'm older than you and in a similar situation myself - out of work, friends busy with their own lives, sleeping and waking up late etc. It can happen at any time.

I met a friend today randomly after about 6 months, and one of the first things he said was "Long time, no see!". And I thought to myself yeah, that's cos as far as I make the effort to meet/organise things people are up for it. But if I go quiet, nobody really bothers. But it's not that they don't care, people are just busy with their own lives. The married ones with their other halfs and the single ones usually throw themselves into work and have their own issues to deal with.

You need to try and focus on what makes you happy, and be less reliant on other people. Are there any clubs or societies you can join that would interest you? Can you put your skills towards working from home (e.g. modding xboxes!). I know it sucks being out of work, you have no routine and even worse you have little social interaction with people. And then boredom/depression can sink in and you just don't feel like going out at all. But try and get out there, even if it's just for walks or to explore something new. Think of things you've wanted to try but never did for whatever reason. Maybe there's some local volunteer work you can get involved in? Whatever it takes to get out of the rut and meet some new people!

 

heh, I'm one of the friends who hasn't hopped online with old friends in a while. As others have said, it's a busy life. I'm more keen to ask a friend if he wants to help me out with a home project than to ask if anyone wants to play GTA5. Things change, it sucks, but that's life I guess.

 

You can always make your place the hangout spot, everyone needs a place to get away from thier normal lives, at least thayts what I did. I even turned the living room Into a dance hall. People tend to go to those they can actually go to.

Even tsung su said something along those lines.

 

Same situation. I just shrugged it off because well, people change. that's all there is to it.

 

Don't be ashamed. Ask around to older people. Its highly likely that most people after about 25 will have less than 5 friends, and some of them probably only people who stuck by you since school.

I am 27 and the only friends I have are from high school. I had alot of friends in school, but as normal, people outgrow others.

 

Mate, I think we have all experienced this in our lives once we get past a certain age. Being the ripe old age of 37, a LOT of my friends are now married with kid/s as well. Busy does happen. A typical week day for me-up at 4am (I get up early to do "my" stuff such as consoles/exercise/watch previously taped TV shows), go to work at 7am until 4pm. Get home at 5.30pm, play fight with the young fella until 6pm have dinner. Bath him at 6.20pm feed him and put him to bed at around 7.30pm. Chores, chores until 8-8.15pm. After that I get to sit on my arse, but then shortly after I go to bed.

I am not a real fan of facebook, but to stay in contact with old friends (that don't hate facebook) it is handy.

 

The grass is always burnt on the other side... and I'm usually the one standing there with a box of used matches.
I remember having friends, it was a weird sensation. Like when you drink orange juice after brushing your teeth.

(Side note: Damn, omp - you old! LOL Oh crap, I don't use Facebook either... I'm old? D

 

True, just like everyone said, they got a job, kids, wife...

I am 18 years old, first year in the College, however I never bothered to ask my friends their phones, where they live and etc... to maintain the contact, and most colleagues that i've studied with it in the Highschool didn't like each other, they all wanted to go away, when the Highschool ended a friend invited some guys to go for a pizza, but just me and another friend wanted to do, he said that the others were busy, etc... Cleary bullshit from them.

 

If I learned one thing in life so far, it's that you can make new friends anywhere as long as you are around new people. Of course some circumstances have to be fulfilled... if you are not in university/college/tech, you may want to consider joining a club or a cycle of some activity that interests you.

I am still in touch with my friends from home, but it's hard because of the time difference (9 hours... ugh) and we only skype every 4-8 weeks these days.

 

I'm in a similiar position as you,HEX1GON. I kind of grew away from them though, found some hobbies to keep me distracted from loneliness. My gott though, I at times wonder how I have changed from a rowdy individual, to one that is more sensible and 'to himself', emo works too I guess. Right now I still look for a part time job and eventually save up to travel. I'll deal with that life shit when I get back, I can't even think about my current situation because I just want to get out of this country asap.

I don't really post much but alot of the replies in this thread helped me out more than you can imagine. Thanks everyone : P

 

If they're screwing you over in regards to organizing stuff and then they all suddenly bail on you and giving you clearly bullshit excuses then in all honesty after having the same thing done to me - they can go and get fucked. Especially if you've made attempts to organize stuff, they give you a bullshit excuse repeatedly and then they all post on Facebook about having an awesome time out doing exactly what you had tried to plan to do - only, without you.

If that's how it's been - then the bunch of wankers can get fucked. Go out, try to hit it up and make some new friends or even try to make some new online buddies in other games as you never know, it does actually happen and is how I have the majority of my current friends now.

But if they are legitimately busy instead of just wasting your time and just ask them - I do work part time but I also go to the beach every now and then, am working on a few translation projects, Clock Tower/Haunting Ground info for my site as well as organizing to move to the US so I can understand that shit can legitimately pop up or that in regards to games and the like to feeling burnt out and wanting to do other stuff so I'd probably wait and see but if they are clearly doing stuff (Facebook photos and the like) then as I said - they can get fucked on that front if that's the case but I typically give people the benefit of the doubt until I've seen something that proves me otherwise.

 

peoples priorities change over time mate, as you get older you tend to drift apart from your friends, you will make more, its just how it is

 

I am hoping our next house has a veranda so I can sit in my rocking chair and say "I don't like the look of those teenagers!"

 

Wait, am I the only one already doing this? :wink-new: