Worst personal interaction in Japan

When I first arrived in Japan when I studied abroad there in Fukuoka, I was trying to ride the subway/train system for the first time to get to school. Unfortunately I got off the subway one stop past where I was supposed to go.

The problem being, my card that paid for my transportation, given to me by my host family, only paid from the stop where our home was in the country, to the stop to where my school was in the city.

I went over to the police officer once I figured out where I was, and asked him if I could get on the subway to go back one stop as I missed the stop accidentally since I couldn't read the signs yet at that point. He was actually very short and abrupt and called another officer over, who in broken English told me I couldn't get back on the subway even if I paid. Needless to say, I was only there one day before and I was very very scared. First time abroad and I was already in trouble (seemingly) with the authorities.

The only thing that saved me was that my host sister (may she rest in piece), had made me a notecard the previous day that basically said something to the effect of "My name is _____, I'm not from here, I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going. If you find me, please point me in the direction to either go to school or home" with the following addresses listed.

The police offers had a very hearty laugh at my expense and let me get on the subway train. If it wasn't for that card, I don't know if I could have figured out where to go up above as it was my first day in the city on my own, and I was only showed one way to get to the school on the previous day with my host mother's help.

Other than that though, my stay there for those months was more than pleasant. Other than that one time of being scared, almost everyone was MORE than helpful to me. People would want to talk to me in English on the train just to test out their skills, and when I was lost once, a lady who worked in one of the downtown malls walked me all the way down 4 stories, across the street, and to the store I was trying to get to. Amazing.

The only other time I was treated not with open arms was when I went to get my haircut. Over there they think having REALLY short hair on the sides is hystaricle apparently, and I was always on the raw end of many jokes while the lady cut it.

 

Wink.

 

One, hopefully, yes?

 

Well she was creamated, so technically not one piece...

She was 24 when I left, and was about to go to college (very hard to make it in college there) to become a nurse. To make money, and because she enjoyed it, she was a scuba diver instructor. She went on a vacation with her diving friends and ended up drowning on the trip which was only a couple weeks after I left for home (9/10/01):-(. I really miss her, she was an amazing person.

Anywho, back on topic..I wish America was more like Japan. In America you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who would ever help you when you're in need, and when I was in Japan, I was shown some of the greatest acts of kindness, and each time it really just shocked me. There's something to be said about having generations and generations of passed down tradition, morals, ect, and it really shows there. Something America sorely lacks: anything uniform. Heck, we can't even decide on a national language for God's sake.

 

Yea I know. The evil ones seem to always last the longest. She could really have been something great. She was one of the most kindest and caring souls I'd ever met.

Again, good people there. I really appreciate all the kindness they showed me.

 

I will go out on a limb and say you lived in the middle of nowhere. Live in the city for a while (even a small one) and you'll see. If you go out of your way and ask for help the average Joe can be quite accomodating. If you're truly in trouble, you are fucked. Why do you think train groping has become a national epidemic? The only people that intervene are gaijin. A friend was ejaculated on on the train and nobody did shit.

Social norms dictate that you're so tied to the individuals in your family and colleagues, who the fuck would want to take on the hassle of helping a stranger? It's the one thing my wife says is the main difference from the states and here. You have to get a kid in a stroller down a staircase in Tokyo? Good luck bitch, you're on your own.

 

Wow, i heard about the train gropping and all that, but I'd have never thought it was that big of a problem. At least it didn't seem to be one when I was there.

What kind of "friend" does that to someone on a train? Maybe you should rethink your company.

And no, while I lived in the country in Maebaru, I spent all day downtown Fukuoka, which is where all the acts of kindness I talked about happened. Considering it's the second largest city in Japan, I seriously doubt you can blame anything on where I was staying.

I guess it's worse when you live there perminately. Even so, if you think that's bad, America is far worse. Shit watching the local news, you'd think everyone around my small city wanted to kill each other every night...

 

I think perhaps you should re-read the sentence... much, much slower.

If we're talking crime, yes, everything crushes it. But, we're talking about daily personal interaction. Japanese are known to not just stop and chat with each other. Obviously the further out of the city you get the more "homey" it gets. Fukuoka is pretty much the sticks, btw...relatively speaking, anyway.

 

Just the other day I was biking to work and stopped at a stop light and this old guy was running across the street and falls face first onto the pavement. EVERYONE just stared at him. The only person to say anything was this lady handing out fliers who asked "Daijoubu desu ka?" and he kept repeating "Daijoubu da!" over and over, he gets up and before even two steps falls FLAT on his face again...the sound was sickening.

Eventually he got up and walked away but nobody did shit...it was horrible.

 

Sounds like my kind of place!



Although, if some old guy faceplanted, I'd probably help him up and scowl at everyone.

 

actually, not sure why this reminded me of one sickening incident but...
about 2 years ago when i was living in Toritsu Daigaku we saw some woman collapse by the taxi rank outside the station.

The wife wondered if she was okay - a small crowd of people stood and watched as she lay on the floor twitching. Seeing no one doing anything she calls the ambulance

Some salary man guy walking whilst talking on his phone, stumbles through the small crowd , doesn't see the woman lying on the floor and half falls over her.

The prick then turns round and kicks the woman , not super hard, but unnecessarily and lets the usual "RRRR RR NANJA RRR YAAAAAA" stream of incomprehensible yak style abuse at her and walks off.

Fucking horrible stuff, again no one bats an eyelid. Ended up it was us and two school kids were the only ones who actually did anything. Hope she was okay, she seemed to be once the ambulance came.

But yeah - if anything bad happens to me, i hope to fuck it's near some gaijins because anything where time is a factor and a gaggle of Japanaese are all i have to rely on and helping you is more likely to be X items down the list.

See also : recent story of the gaijin guy and the school kid who jumped down to help a woman who collapsed onto the tracks at a station recently. Canadian guy was quoted as basically saying "WTF? everyone else saw her there and just didn't do anything. Were they really going to just let her die when the next train rolled in?" Sort of reminded me when the same thing happens in Gantz where the reaction of a number of the people on the platforms reaction is basically "Oh cool, i'm going to see someone get hit by a train! (^ ^)"

 

oh and on the flip side and somewhat weirdly - some oldish guy pushed a woman over at Ebisu station not long after. Woman was carrying a child and the oldish suited guy threw his hands up and walked on.

The next thing i see is this huge japanese guy just come out of nowhere and smash the old guy in the face, seemed to have nothing to do with the woman and was just a case of passer-by justice. Glasses and old guy sent flying. Huge guy pics up the older guy and is shaking him to the sound of the yak style stream of abuse intermixed with a stream of gurgled "sumimasen sumimasen sumimasen"

But even then, it was a group of school kids who were then trying to calm the bigger guy down whilst they made sure the woman was alright.

So i just wonder - for all the shit the kids of Japan seem to get from the older generation, it seems odd (if anecdotal) that in times when people have needed help -in the city- it's always been the younger generation who step in
.
Hell , on the inokashira line, i saw a youngish (kieo uni rugby team according to his tracksuit) guy berate a middle age guy for not giving up his seat for an old woman who'd got on the train.

I guess deep down i just hope that the younger generation of Japan are going to be differnet!

also - ejaculated on on a train - it really is weird how often this happens. It's happened to my bosses wife twice :/

but yeah, the problems in the UK 10 years ago were still much more of a pain in the arse than what i've experienced in Japan.

 

I always thought in Japan you were more prone to see wipeouts than other places. I remember seeing a girl coming tumbling down a staircase out of a karaoke joint years ago. She was fine, and it was pretty funny.

When I was studying abroad in Shizuoka, I was walking down the street w/ a few other students and the faculty, as they were showing us around town. Some girl on a mama chari comes flying by and completely eats shit. I was pretty shocked, and the guy next to me said, "as if it were in slow motion..." I couldn't help myself -- I just laughed my balls off.

The closest thing I saw to the face plant myself was and old codger with a cane had fallen over in the station. He was like a turtle on the back of his shell, kicking his legs. I gave him the "daijoubu desu ka?". He came back w/ a "Daijoubu Ja nai". I helped him up (feet still "walking" the whole time) and he hit the pavement moving. Gave me a brief bow and a domo, and was on his merry way.

 

... Did you do anything?

 

I was walking down the street in motomachi, whilst drinking a beer. I literally walked into a police officer and spilled beer all over his shirt.

I figured my life was over, and I was going to be arrested in a foreign country. He simply asked if I was OK, and went on with his business. Japanese police officers are very kind, I definitely deserved some sort of smack on the wrist in the least.

 

2 years ago I saw a drunk lady walk through a glass door, which hurt her head and wrist, but she kept claiming she felt alright and didn't have to go to the hospital. Some really can't hold their liquor that well. =)

 

I know I'm a few weeks late here, but dude... Fukuoka is not the second largest city in Japan. It's number eight. Did you actually get around Japan when you were here, do did you just say in Kyushu???

Anyway, I've been to quite a few of the big cities in Japan and in my experience the large cities with the most helpful, kind and friendly people I saw were Fukuoka and Hiroshima. Both fairly large cities in western Japan. It leads me to believe that the further west you go from Tokyo, the friendlier people are. I'd also hazard to guess that people in Tohoku would be similar.

I do see acts of kindness where I am... but you know what? Most of them are not because the people are being kind, but because their culture dictates that they do these things. If they don't act is this way, they are simply going against that the Japanese culture expects of them and that is unthinkable for them.