The Most Retarded Controller Thread

my favorite controller, personally, is the 6 button genesis pad, and the xbox 360 controller for the new-school era. Talk about well thought, or just simple,controllers. Those arent retarded (heres the link. :lol

 

Here are some pads that I think are bloody awful to use if not stupid in design.

US & EU SATURN CONTROLLER (1st type)

This thing is just pure ugly and not to mention uncomfortable. The D-Pad feels nasty and unresponsive, especially after using the Japanese one (Pictured in grey) and the shoulder buttons are just pure shite ! Bad pad if ever there was one.



CAPCOM FIGHTING PAD (3DO & SFC)

This was meant to be the perfectly controller for Street Fighter. now I can see why 3DO owners would want one since the D-Pad on the 3DO was very stiff and pretty bad for street fighter but why SFC owners when they had loads of better pads to choose from? I think there maybe a Mega Drive version as well.


SUPER L5 for the SFC

ASCII brink us their one handed controller for RPG nuts. Nice idea but actually quite uncomfortable after a while


Yakumo

 

The First US saturn controller feels like it's trying to escape from my hands. Those grips are just waaaay too big.

Worst Controller Ever: Colecovision standard controller. It's damn near impossible to use. Incredibly inaccurate.

Honorable mention: Anything made by Atari.

 

Nah, you really needed the keypad for Fortune Builder.
Always hated the N64 controller more than any others myself.

 

Especially the Atari 5200. Man, what the fuck where they thinking when they released THAT? And looking at prototype pages and stuff, they show it could have been awesome. What they released, however... oh man.
It's the worst controller ever. Though the Jaguar controller is also awesomely bad, and I personally dislike the 7800 sticks, though they do work a lot better with many 2600 games.
In a good note about Atari, though, the original Joystick and the Paddle are not only the most awesome things ever made, but also some still survive today. Those things were sturdy!
The Intellivision controller had a wire that was too short. The thumb-disc was awesome, and the way that it could be used by left or right handed people was awesome as well... and it had OVERLAYS! That's like the 80's equivalent to a touch-screen! But with short wires and a weird holding angle, it wasn't precisely great.

The N64 controller, I think, is one of the best ones ever. The dreamcast one... that could have used some tweaking, even if it has many awesome things.

 

N64 is very much a love it or hate it - As is the PS1 dual shock/PS2 controller - Personally I love N64 and can't stand PS2.

Add one vote for hating the 1gen Saturn - but I do like the shoulder buttons, since in some ways they can be used as face buttons too.

Jaguar is pretty awful too - who's idea was it to have a freaking keypad in there?

 

PCEngine Pachinko Controller


Micro Genius Infrared Genesis Pad


and the TurboGrafx standard controller

 

Your favorites match mine exactly.

As for the most useless peripheral ever made, it's a toss up between the UForce and PowerGlove (both for the NES). Gimmicky as hell and worked as well as the ads showed.

 

As for *good* controllers, I'm putting a vote on this one:


PlayStation controller by Hori (more known for their GC pad that resembles this one a bit, but is blue) - ever since I got it at a flea market for 2e, I've found it impossible to play 2D games (especially Street Fighter) on Sony hardware with anything else

 

Hmmm well that onehanded controller was great, when it came to people who were spastic handicapped, I had a friend who was spastic, and he was normal in his head, even though some people see´s spastic people as retarded people. But they aren´t, since he programmed in SCI, in ASM, in DELPHI, among other languages, his name is Lars.

His right hand was a nogo when it came to do stuff, but his left hand ? Damn he could track music, he could program faster than any person I have seen, he spoke Spanish, English and danish.

He was my friend, and if I meet him today, he will still be my friend
Heck he could even play a synth with one hand, and play guitar, and I told him about the controller, and he said to me, he had tried it , and thought it was a great controller.

So that controller isn´t a retarded controller. And spastic are not retarded people, I have met many Spastics, and I knew even, they couldn´t speak, that if they had a writing pen or a Stephen Hawkin talking machine, they could discuss with the smartest people !

So to people, I raise my glass to that controller, and salute it .

And sorry for the long post.

 

There was a better one-hand controller, though. I saw the ad on a GameFan or PSXtreme magazine in 1997 or so. It was a very cool idea, and look a bit more comfy than the one above. Still, it's a good idea for people who can't use both arms...

or people who have their other hand busy elsewhere.
Who knows.

 

A Teen gamepad!

 

This one, right?

 

This sort of had that "OMG what a stupid concept" look to it, but it was pretty damn comfortable to use on just about any game. QuickShot QuickGrip controller for NES:

 

?
Hmm. The image shows up on my end.

 

The Atari MindLink controller. Control the game with your MIND.




If I remember, it supposedly worked using brainwaves, really meant moving your eyebrows.

 

I actually have that long one for the NES!!

It's not actually quite as bad as it looks....

And only the second link is showing up for me

 

Yup, it's the one SuperGrafX says.

I recall the ad being hilarious. Boy, I REALLY have to go through my old magazines from my old room.

The one Cahaz posted... how the fuck are you supposed to play with THAT thing? It does have a trackball, which instantly makes it retro-chic. In fact, I want one.

...if I ever find out what the fuck it is.

Now, the controllers on many famiclones are retarded as well, are they not?

 

awsome I had that thing made by Quickshot for my C64 years ago.. It survived pretty long - since it was the most horrible joystick I had for my Commodore.


missing the days out in the sandbox?