10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!

hey fellas...

Its been a roung couple of days for me... yesterday i found out my girlfriend of 10 years this month has been cheating on me with a work coluege, needless to say my temper got the better of me and i ended up giving the guy a beating at work.

Tomorow i get to find out if i still have a job, but seeing as my now ex girlfriend and the guy she has hooked up with both work at the same place im not sure if i could handle it or even if it would be healthy for me to even be in that close proximity to them both.

On the 17th of this month my rent is due.. i have just moved into a new apartment and this is my first due date. On my wages alone i can barley cover the rent and bills and thats if i somehow solve the problem of humans requiring food to live.

On top of this, its all happening in a foreign country so i cant even fall back on my folks right now!

So to sum up, in the last 24 hours, i have lost my GF of 10 years, possibly my job and most definatly the roof over my head.

Any tips, advice, pointers etc etc are more than welcome, as im not really in a place of rational thought right now.

 

amazing how much trouble your dick can get you in. get over it, be a man, have many women =)

 

Why does this posting seem like you are going to provide us with bank details (possibly Western Union) and expect to offer us 150% return for our generosity?

Seriously though, you never lose your temper and beat up the other guy. Keep your dignity and say "You are welcome to her, I was fed up with her constant nagging anyway and besides I think I caught something off her, you should get yourself checked out too as I guess you are next!"

You'd have kept your cool, your roof, your job and found someone nicer along the way.

 

When everything seems to be hitting the fan at one time it is always a knee jerk reaction to lose your composure and fold. Stop worrying about every little detail all at the same time and prioritize your issues. Take them one at a time and work through them in a calm and collected manner. I realize that none of that is easy, just do your best at it and the results of your current situation will be far better than they could be.

-ServiceGames-

 

thanks for the kind words guys.. i guess i should just man up but its a lot easier said than done...

I went back to work today to see what was happening and i got suspended while they investigate it, not that there is much to investigate i never denied hitting the guy. On the bright side.. i get paid while suspended!

Im meeting with my ex today for lunch and to talk, i think she wants to come home although id be happier she was here than with another guy, im not made up on this.

Oh well, lifes a bitch, then you marry one!

 

Good one hahaha.

Don't let her come with you. You'll be better without her now you know she has cheated on you. You will get to know other women!

 

if a mistake takes place more than once it has a tendency to end up as a bad habit. Steer clear of her, I m sure you can find other people who are more honest and as much fun, if not more. Think about it, she's not much of a safe bet anyway, considering how she made you feel. You're best moving on mate.

 

That is a classic. Are you sure , that you are not Danish ? cause I have heard that sentence from quite a few Danes over the years. But anyway man up, and keep your cool. You will find another and probably even sweeter woman .

 

What on earth could you possibly have to talk about with her? She's already demonstrated that she has no respect for you whatsoever. That's not something you can talk your way out of.

 

Wow 10 yrs of your life wasted in a dead end boring relationship.
my tip is get drunk and then get a hooker fast :thumbsup:
look at it this way your free now.

 

Big deal I say. Just rip it off like a band-aid and start over. No point in investing your time, money, and energy into a black hole with no prospects of return!

 

Drop her like a bad habit...

Treat her like a bad business experience: Cold and calculated.

Put her stuff on the curb at a specified time. DO NOT let her back in the house without you having a witness there.

If they want to fire you, apologize to the bosses doing the investigating and ask if there's an alternate shift to work. Stress that the ordeal is over, she is out of your life, tell them the guy did you a favor, and that you love your job and the company and didn't want to jeopardize your career with this problem.

Maybe you can salvage the job. The girl? I wouldn't EVER consider salvaging that relationship. The guy? After she cheats on him you guys may end up friends.

RJ

 

Look at the brightside - your only responsibility is yourself now so really you can do whatever the hell you want. Personally I'd go out on the lash with mates and while suspended from work during days take up a project that interests you.

 

Drop her dont even say hello to her just blank her.

 

drop her, and hook up with one of her friends or family members....that wont go down well LOL...also, does she have myspace/facebook or any of those other social networking sites?

 

Pro Tip: Get your dating advance anywhere else than a games forum.

 

good advice gaijin.

 

So true, to the people saying just drop her. I mean seriously, you invest 10 years of your life into something, it's a bit more complicated than that. You can't just be like "OK BYE" no matter what the fuck she did. 10 years of emotional investment really. My brother is going through a similar situation with his wife (although he didn't physically beat anyone up or anything) but yeah, it's a lot harder than just saying "see ya" sometimes.

 

IMHO, someone who cheats on you once isn't likely to remain faithful in the future, so go ahead and reinvest in the 10 year relationship, but ask yourself why she didn't consider what had been put into the last 10 years of your lives together before sleeping with a work colleague.

Sure, accidents can happen, but this guy never wrote "she immediately regretted it and said she was sorry, wanted to make things right". She's gone off with this guy, allowed her ex-partner to potentially screw up his life, job & possibly lose his home.

By all means, go get your advice from anywhere else you feel necessary and feel free to try and win her back, but I doubt whether seriously it would last another 10 years without major relationship counseling, a change of location, job (for the pair of you) and some soul searchingly honest talks about why she felt compelled in the first place.

I still think walk away, but that's from bitter experience. Do whatever comes naturally to you, but just don't be used and spat out the other end. None of us here knows either of you, what real advice can we offer other than the obvious or extreme?

However, one thing I would say is don't confuse the matter with seeking revenge, immediately jumping into bed with a family member (hers) or a friend (hers or yours) as that also tends to mess everything up!

Ride out the job situation and always have a plan B. You never know, maybe she was just bored of things never changing in 10 years. Change your life and perhaps she'll regret her actions and look you up, want to talk things through or you could move into a new place and bump into a really cute neighbor.

Good luck! ;-)

 

There's 6.7 billion people,pick someone else.