My girlfriend just left me...

Go to Korea. Leaving Texas was the smartest thing I ever did. Opens so many doors. What's the worst thing that could happen other than be the caught in the middle of a conflict w/ N. Korea?

However, do not forget Chung is King before going:
http://www.snopes.com/risque/tattled/chung.asp

I remember when this came out. You guys were probably still in Junior High.

Even if you don't go... getting cut out of someone's life is unfortunately, part of life. While it's not the smartest thing, some good old fashioned rebound sex will help. If you're lucky, maybe even make her a bit jealous. Although, that's something I've never understood. Girl breaks up w/ boy. Boy goes on sexual expade soon after. Girl gets mad. WTF?

 

oh, so you're from Texas, that explains it.. =p love the humour

 

Explains why I left. I don't eat meat, hate guns, and knew from Day 1 Bush would be a disaster. I feared for my life.

 

you gotta love Texas for some things though, I know I did.

 

A wise man once said "Nothing takss the pain away better than a line of coke off a hookers ass".

 

I remember when I was in grade 9, I got dumped at the Valentines dance. It blew, and being so young I felt like it was the end of the world. I went out and got baked with my buddies, saw some girls from school and passed out on the couch after eating so many nacho cheese Doritoes it hurt. Point being, even though I was hurting and felt kinda bad, I still had my friends to help me out, and I didn't let it get to me.

...At least I guess that's the point of the story... About a month after that though I got busted for being baked in class and suspended...so maybe the moral is "no matter how bad things are, don't turn to drugs".

Fuck, I'm lost. Ignore me

 

I never got high b/c I got dumped... I got high for other reasons, and coincidentally had just been dumped. I was always getting stoned in college.

My bad breakup story was when I went on my 3 month study abroad back in my junior year of college, I freakin' worked myself in my host family's shower for 3 months b/c I was a faithful boyfriend. Got home, and find out my soon to be ex was kind of dating this other guy. I got a few mercy fucks since neither of us were having sex with anyone else, but it felt shitty. I was supposed to stay with her (we had lived together previously) but of course, that wasn't "appropriate" so I had to bounce to and from my friends' houses for a month until I got my own apartment. So not only did I get dumped, but was homeless as well. That's the beauty of Austin. You haven't truly lived there until you lived in your friends' living room for a few weeks.

The ironic thing of the whole breakup was, she was dating a guy who we kind of met together through a mutual friend. However, she met him once at a party like 5 years before, so technically she knew him before. I started dating someone that I met through a group of friends that I met through her. So of course, I was the asshole, despite the fact she pretty much did everything, and was also the sole coordinator of the post-breakup sex. I was pretty much game for it whenever.

Tex-mex food and hot, dumb pussy!

 

So, she dumps you and then "lets" you help her complete a project you otherwise have nothing to do with shortly there after? I'm sorry, don't mean to sound rude, but thats kind of a shitty way to treat someone. My best friend went through something sort of like that when his girlfriend of about 3 years dumped him. She stuck around for a while and used him to her liking (even made him pick her up from a date with another guy once, though he didn't know that was what he was doing when she asked him to get her). Honestly, it seems to be a lack of maturity on her side and you shouldn't blame yourself too much. Her reasons for breaking up with you were that the relationship was requiring work to keep going and it was no longer all fun...That really comes across as someone whom doesn't know what a real relationship is and whom has a fairytale ideal stuck in her head which she is forcing you to live up to. One which you can never fulfill, as that is not how things work in reality. A person like that isn't ready for a real relationship, and may not be for sometime.
I think some distance is what you need right now, whether emotional or physical. It will give you time to figure out what had really been going on between the two of you and whether you were a good match to begin with. Either way, it sounds like she has some growing up to do before she can be in an actual mature relationship. I wish you luck in getting through this. I went through a bad break up myself in '05, and helped my buddy through his in '06; things get better.

 

Stay in Dorset, it's a million times better than Korea.

 

Bummer mate, sort of same situation for me, but with kids etc not as easy

If I was in your situation, go to KOREA, whole new world, will find it easier to forget her as nothing to remind you of her, likie your favourite pub, where she lives, if not with you, her freind etc

Another country and nothing to remind you of her. Who knows she may want to get back together after, but don`t worry about it

Korea can be the making of you

What a thing to have on your CV for future years

Girlfreinds are ten a penny as a figure of speach

How many people think this is the one, break up and find someone else in the near future


Go for Korea, this is the kick up the arse you need as I know you were thinking about it a while ago

Do it now make the decision, I am sure you won`t regret it

Think of it as she was holding you back in what could be the best career move you could ever make!!!

 

Sorry to hear that, but as everybody told you before. It could be worse! Not just that, but you could also be forced to continue somehow but you aren't: You have the chance to go to another country, to get yourself away from everybody and to get new people around you. It's a chance you should definately take as it comes right on time.

 

Concerning your ex is don't act desperate in any way - puts girls right off. Best thing to do at a time like this is to go out with your mates, get hammered/wired and have a laugh.

 

You only get one chance in life don't ruin it because of some lass. Go off to Korea for a bit clear you head, come back then realize you don't need her and her life has turn to shit without you.
Something like that.

 

I don't call that progress dude, but I'm not in your situation.

 

Thanks for the comments people, all of them have been a big help.

In a bold move I have cancelled going round to see her and have decided to leave it be.

In the meantime I'm just going to have to try and accept it, even though it's really hard.

I've got 3 options which I'd like to pursue but each has its pro's and cons.

1. I'd like to go travelling.
2. I'd like to move back to Newcastle, which is where I'm from originally.
3. I'd like to go to South Korea and travel once I'm done working.

1. Is appealing because it would allow me to 'rediscover' myself without the pressure of full time work and allow me to...well....just travel, the downside is raising the collateral means staying at home with my parents in this friendless backwards town for quite sometime working all hours to raise the cash. So the reward would be great but I'm worried about the effects to my sanity.

2. Moving back to my roots would put me back in a lifetsyle with some good friend, familiar territory and a bigger chance at starting a new life. The downside is the organisation of it and making it happen. I.e attending job interviews etc, staying with grandparents until I get on my feet etc.

3. Working in Korea is an option I can pursue very soon and would get me away somewhere new, give me a good C.V reference and I would earn money as I go. However reading up on various teaching/working abroad websites, S.Korea can be quite isolating and solitary with a hard working regime and apparently depsite making around £1500 a month, it is difficult to save money. The other attraction to Korea is that if I don't like it, I can always come back, and I can travel from Korea to other places.

This all may seem a bit drastic, it's just that I made alot of changes for this girl and now at 22 with a fresh degree, no ties and no purpose in life at the moment, I need direction.

Virtual Alan, your advice is sound and greatly appreciated, my problems must pale in comparison to yours. So I apologise if I seem a bit melodramatic, I guess in someways I should just get someone to slap me and then think of myself as lucky.

 

As long as you have the money to fly home again, and you have somewhere you can live if you do (parents or family?), then there is not that much of a risk trying out a job/life in Korea. Just make sure you always have an emergency fund just in case you need it. If you don't, work as much as you can (i.e. bury yourself in your job) to save into a fund. It will keep your mind busy and you'll be working for an ultimate goal that will give you something to look forward to.

It's hard to do, but writing off a relationship as done is the only way to really move on. Once you settle that in your mind it gets a lot easier. Like you say, 22 with a degree and complete freedom leaves you without direction after a break up. But I know a lot of guys that would give their right arm for that kind of opportunity!

 

take the job if its a good one.

breakups suck, weve all been thru em, it always feels like the rapture at first but you just gotta knuckle down and fight thru it, everyone have their own technique but dont be afraid to talk to your friends if you feel you want to tho, if theyre not assholes they will understand.

personally i never felt fucking around after a breakup to be any good at all, waking up with a hangover and some random nightclub-girl after a night of crappy drunken sex just adds to the angst in my experience

 

I've never lived in S. Korea but I've visited many times. All in all, it's way cheaper than Tokyo assuming you're earning Won (or anything besides USD or YEN really). ~1500GBP sounds like starting salary for an English teacher here. Most people can save on that salary as well. So, unless you're blowing your money on all kinds of shit, you can probably save at least a few hundred a month I would think, maybe more.

Think of it this way (and yes, I'm obviously biased for moving abroad):
You can do number 2 at just about any time in your life, for the littlest of money. Your parents will probably always welcome you, even down the road when you've hit rock bottom. Number 1 you cannot do unless you have the dough (which sounds like you don't). You will have to do number 2 to do number 1 (no pun intended) and getting out of the number 2 situation isn't easy. Every time I go home I put on 3kg b/c I turn into a fucking lazy ass. Everything is sooo comfortable. Impossible for me to get anything done. Yeah, that's me, but I think it's a natural thing to do.

Number 3 is the one thing that you can only do when it presents itself. Jobs in a foreign country don't grow on trees. Assuming you get serious with some other bird, that shoots relocation down as well, unless you want to dump her at least temporarily.

Yeah, everything has it's pros and cons, but if living abroad is something you want to do in your life at some point, the earlier the better, unless you marry someone from another country and coast in on a spouse visa.

 

My take: dont go around trying to find another girl to replace her, you'll just end with an even worse bitch that will make you life miserable.

Take some time for you own, try to get yourself back on rails.

About south korea, I'll recommend somewhere else: I got a friend in the army who's stationed there and well, according to him seoul is about to be destroyed anyday...

 

Shag her sister/best mate/Mum in the short term will make you feel good.







Long term not so good but hey least you got one back on her...

If it was my x I would not talk or text her for a few months. Hard I know but not having any contact at all (even if you walk past her) is best for you. Its your life you live it for yourself. Not spend it wishing what if? Use that energy on doing stuff you want to. Keep busy dont let your mind wander back to her. I used it to bulid up my company and got back in contracting work. Now a few years down im doing alright and have a ace job. Its your choice Sink or Swim.