Japanese wife.

Shit, sorry to hear that bro.

I'm not looking for a wife though, I'm just looking for a girlfriend. It even seems when I have a female friends it's because they need something from me, it's happened so many times now I'm just afraid to really begin any friendships with any girl.
Now I don't do favours for any girl until I've known her for a while.

 

Been there. I don't know why some women want to use men so much.

How can they possibly justify that in any moral way?

I guess some people are just scum. Regardless of gender.

 

They charm you to get something done, that's what makes it gender orientated.

 

They ditch them for a reason. Or at least that's how I feel with mine.

 

You're doing it wrong if you're starting with friendships.

 

^ the man is right

 

Great, but that comment doesn't help me does it?

 

Right from the start make sure she understands that you are interested in touching her and not just in sharing ideas about room decor and baked goods. That better? ^^

 

Well, you need to stay away from those bounce dancers...

Here is my advice, not that you asked for it, or that it's worthwhile but I have been in isolated patches and have fought through them. First, as Ave says, you have to have a clear demarcation line between what is friendship and relationship. If you don't draw that heavy line, the confusion forces people to the safe side. No one wants to be rejected or hurt. If you are beyond this stage and simply find women using you with intimacy involved, then perhaps find a different kind of woman.

For example, I am sure there is a potential Mrs HEX1GON sitting out there in your city, playing xbox and thinking the same way you are. Go from the perspective of billions of people, millions in one urban area. By sheer numbers there are creatures that mirror your interests and integrity. Internet dating is helpful because it narrows down interests and cuts down on the confusion. You are seeking a partner to date and or find a relationship. The other is doing the same. One doesn't have to be alone in this age. Besides, there are more women than men on this planet. If you get creative, you'll definitely find a match. In internet dating, it's okay to walk away if you don't feel a comfortable fit, it's expected as one shouldn't waste time stringing another along for the sake of personal reasons, such as "for the sake of pleasure". It is work though and comes with the territory of being exposed. I am presently thinking about dating again, so I will use the internet to seek out dates. I have used this method in the past.

Finally, I have had relationships that have stemmed from friendships. If you keep friendships sincere, you'll be surprised at what hits you from left field. Again, being sincere , accepting friendship creates a sense of dignity. In friendships, give and take must be equal or it's not a friendship and we as humans have a the brains to understand this balance. So yeah, if you are being used, perhaps you are drinking from the wrong water fountain.

 

Well that makes sense, I guess I can say I understand now

 

How can you be in a relationship or want to be in a relationship with someone if you aren't friends with them?

I'd rather be friends first. I want to get to know someone i'm interested in to see if their personality is even worth the effort.

Because if you don't like them as a person, what's the fucking point?

 

Their point being, slap her ass, and poke her boobs. Apparently that starts relationships. :/

 

It's very easy to have a relationship with someone after meeting them through a series of dates, not knowing them before the dates themselves. Upon meeting, one does go through a brief period where compatibility is worked out and decisions are made about continuing the path towards relationship. I state brief, but it's entirely subjective. The timeline for dating leading to outright relationship could take months or years. This process in many ways is stronger than friendship because intimacy is involved. The discussion here isn't about whether you like a person, that should be a given, otherwise you are doing harm to yourself. The issue being opened up involves getting what one wants, which is intimacy and connection with the opposite sex, at least within this thread here. The bridge between friendship and romantic intimacy is difficult terrain which can be circumnavigated all together through meeting on more direct terms which is dating.

Interestingly, you bring up a good point regarding getting to know someone. My best relationships have been forged out of friendships while internet dating has dealt some very strange cards. Internet dating is efficient but at the same time, it can be a wild gamble.
People can generally keep a facade up for several months before you finally get to know who they are. So , yes, if you are internet dating, take everything slow. There are some crazy people out there.

Yeah, ideally find someone in your physical environment. If you don't have access to females that you'd like to get close to, then of course, go reach out and date.

I don't think anyone here has stated that one should date someone that you dislike. Where did you get that impression?

 

The way you say this makes me think you don't know that it works the other way, too. Ive charmed and been charmed. & I have dated chicks at random, and have dated already established friends. I don't think there ever is any one answer, I just assess who the chick is and act accordingly to what I think will work from previous experiences. The amount of guys who think (or are too shy) that no chick wants you to grab hold of them and take control is baffling. I wouldn't say that all chicks crave this kind of bold attention, but with my experience, many of them do. & many of these chicks won't act on anything unless you make your lust more prominent or act on them first.

The main thing you need is courage, to be outgoing, and have a pair of balls. If you have this, you can't be stopped. With this courage, you can ask any chick you want on a date. & since you are a manly man, them turning you down won't be as disheartening as it would be if you are a overly lonely person who rarely puts himself out there. Plus, the more you put yourself out there, the chances of finding a girl increase rapidly.

I am sure you have heard many of these tips before, but you really have to take hold of the situation if you want things to change for you.

 

You have a good point there bro. It's just it's happened to me every time I've known a girl.
Sure I'm not saying guys do it to girls. I'll just made that clear.

 

Don't worry too much Hex, you'll get there one day! :friendly_wink:
Then you'll realise that it's not all that or is all that.
Then you'll either end up with a wife or rediscover the single life!
Damn. I knew I should have purchased one of those giant rapper clock necklaces when I was younger.
It's a crime to prevent me from rhyme. :highly_amused:

 

Ahhhahahaha. You know how to make me laugh bro.

I was thinking this the other day, I might even get to the marriage cycle then be left with nothing down the road. Guess time will tell the tail.

 

You should be friends with whomever you're romantic with, but if you start off that way, you run a huge risk of winding up in The Friend Zone... .which isn't necessarily bad. The other thing is, you may not want to fuck things up -- rarely can people get over dating someone and remain friends, which is another huge risk. It can happen, it's just difficult... and it can wreak havoc on future relationships at times.

 

GaijinPunch is right. You don't want to go in grabbing breasts and so on or even making her know that's what you want. Only a real slag would go for that. GaijinPunch and I are real old farts (well in to our 30's) so we've had quite a bit of experience. Get to know one another, send mails, invite the girl out in a group to a party, road trip, movie even. The group thing works well. Better atmosphere and more fun. Then see how you feel and she feels and make the move to step up the relationship. If it stays at the friend level then fine but if she’s ok with becoming a bit closer then go for it.