Japanese wife.

I totally see where you're coming from. Sure it's possible to get to know someone without being their friend.
Last time I just asked purely out of interest, if she'd go on just one date with me. Apparently I was a jerk for asking. :| I didn't ask forcefully, or spring it upon her, she just out right took it like an insult.

Time after time stories from her were about people abusing her in a relationship, and just outright using her like a doll. Previously she was bashed in a few relationships too. You see I'm the jerk out of all them, because lately I see she's dating someone she called a dick many times, and apparently he's ok. I'm the monster out of all of them, a try hard and a jerk. These type of women rip me apart. I know I'm a friendly person, she sees otherwise. I can barely raise my voice at a woman, let alone be an asshole to them.

You know, better yet the day after she said no for a date, she said yes. Date never happened, even I planned a date months ahead (She said she had too many parties to go to). I kept being put off. So I told her to stick it, and a whore for treating me like dirt and leading me on for months on end. All that time I spoiled her, and cared for her were for nothing. She's no longer even a friend, she's removed from her life for good.

I've tried moving on, trying to see other girls but no one has time. Sure I'm young, and I'll have many times in the future to meet others. It may seem I'm basing my life on one event, but it's an event that really woke me up from the amount of bitches that are out there - who are clearly out there for it for themselves.

@Yakumo, I'll surely try the group idea sounds pretty good actually. My circle of friends is pretty small though, but I'll see what I can do.

 

dont worry too much, all u will get out of ladies in the end is lots of drama, so theres really no need to hassle with it too much.
also never ever again spoil a girl with presents and helping her if u dont feel its a giving and taking at the same time. this spoiling puts u honestly generally in the worst position and u will be just another idiot licking their ass and making them feel good.

funnily as more u give a shit about them, as more u will see them approaching u, not the other way around. but dont misunderstand this for treating them like an asshole too.

oh and best avoid ladies like u described. its usually leading just to serious problems, this is mostly a father complex and they wont change ......... . i had to learn it the hard way in my last relationship ...... (beside u think u can treat them like the guys they love)

 

:| Not worth dating then. Weirdo.

 

Damn! This is turning into a dark thread (unsubscribes!) :encouragement: LOL!

 

Good advice regarding mid thirties women. I am in my late 30's, still single and the internet dating sites are crawling with single mothers who have divorced their husbands and are into "having fun" and other low IQ nonsense. So, these creatures are the outcome of what Assembler is discussing.

As one gets older, the field for choice becomes increasingly littered with women who are basket cases and or disturbed from prior abusive relationships. Finding a healthy woman becomes a quest for nirvana.

Regarding the increasingly dark tone of this thread, in a way, the content in here is uncovering the animal nature of humans and our predatory ways. Knowing the biology and anthropological traits of the Human beast helps one navigate the world successfully and find the needle in the haystack that allows us to be happy. Compromising for the sake of immediate satiation or comfort, to settle for the sake of quelling animal urges, will get us frying in the fat with outcomes that can haunt one for years. Take relationships slow and keep one eye open at all times.

Again, as Assembler stated, one mistake in relationship could have you handcuffed to another with a life time responsibility through offspring that may or may not get the chance to be raised properly.



Yeah, it's dark, but you can't escape it if you plan at all to be with another.


Edit: Reading back over this, perhaps this comes off as misogynistic, so let me state this for both sexes who may read this. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
Basically, trust is something which has to be earned and is a central component to a healthy relationship. Going into the dating universe with blinders on, well the outcome could be very nasty, even lasting a lifetime. Relationships are extremely complex and difficult to achieve long term. Having a healthy respect for the complexities of relationship armed with knowledge going into this world, well it's like going into battle knowing the terrain. Your less likely to get ambushed having a proverbial arm or leg of your dignity getting blown off.

 

Meh, I tried but couldn't keep away! :stupid: Isn't life grand?
Maybe I just can't get in the mood for all this since I am listening to this on loop...

 

Got that right. Not sure how her brain operates to be honest...

 

For those that don't understand what the old guys like myself, GP and Yakumo are saying, go look up the Friend Zone video by The Fung Brothers on YouTube. Hilarious, not misogynistic and oh so on target for many people I know.

 

For those who don't understand what guys like myself, Assembler, Vosse, Ave and CraZy are saying, Go look up a funny video and shit your pants.

 

You could just get lucky like me. I met a 22 year old. Very cute and educated woman. For some unknown reason she is attracted to me. She knows I'm 15 years older than her but she doesn't care. We've been drinking a few times now, I've been invited to a party. We get along so well. So well in fact that last Saturday while drinking she say"I love you". I'm not going to think too much in to that, it could just be the drink. I haven't slept with her mind you because I'm married after all. Although my wife doesn't give a shit about me because she has a son now. I'm not needed. It's been this way for 5 years so a man can only put up with crap for so long.

Anyway, the point is, one day the right woman for you will just come along. I've had a few in my time (when I wasn't a fat shit) as I'm sure you will, too. Just be yourself, relax, get out more, socialize and enjoy. If you have to go looking then the chances are you won't find the right woman for you.

 

I want to marry one :3

 

That is just social proof, it doesn't just relate to married men but any man that other women desire. It's difficult to kick start the process, but once you get a group of women who like you it reaches critical mass. All I know about women is that collecting old computers and consoles isn't the correct catalyst.

 

Who knows. Maybe she's now bored of me? Can't say I really care these days but that may change in the future. All I can say is that as soon as our son was born almost 6 years ago I started to become second in everything unril I didn't even get noticed. I'm off to another party next week with my new found follower so I'm happy for now.

 

Yep, it's sad but at least I know many other western guys who have the same problem.

 

Is an age gap approved of in Japan? Here it's quite discourageable, especially when the girl is so young,

 

Out of Japan (mainly here) the man is considered very lucky if that's the case. The woman is usually labelled a gold digger though lol.

 

Here the man is a pedo and only wants sex.