Simpsons quote thread?

Wait! now I remeber what's the best quote ever!

Is from one episode of the last season, when bart becomes a raper:

[rock breaks window]

[homer] ah flying rock! call a geologist!

 

On the plus side, I managed to knock over the Sun Sphere.

 

Grandpa: They're playing the elephant song again.
The old guy who's name escapes me: I like that song. It reminds me of elephants.

 

That's not America! That's not even Mexico!

 

I don't remember the exact quote, but I remember Comic Book Guy dying in one episode (non canon) and he fell in some goo that hardens fast, so he said something like:

"Oh no, the (stuff) is hardening! I must take the pose of (some guy) from Battlestar Galactica! Urgh.....BEST DEATH...EVER!"

I loled like crazy at this scene.

 

accidently I just saw that episode (1104 Treehouse of Horror X)
"Lucite hardening ... must end life in classic Lorne Greene pose from Battlestar Galactica. Best ... death ... ever!"

 

That and the fact that Xena doesn't fly.... but Lucy Lawless Does!

 

Two of my Favorites

Fidel Castro:
Comrades, our nation is completely bankrupt. We have no choice but to abandon communism. (his aides groan) I know, I know. But we knew from Day 1 this mumbo-jumbo wouldn't fly. (aides make sounds of agreement) I call Washington and tell them they won.

Aide:
But Presidente, America tried to kill you!

Fidel:
Ah, they not so bad. They named a street after me in San Francisco. (another aide whispers something in Fidel's ear) Is full of whaaaa?!

Mr. Burns:
Well, if it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty. And if it's a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too. And if it's a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I'll soon be guilty of that!

Homer: God bless America!

 

Same episode as A. Snow's

Mr Burns: Sorry about that landing boys. This fog's so thick I can't even see my own cataracts.

 

Computer: PRAY... FOR... MOJO...

 

Repairman: Here's your problem. Ya had this thing set to "EVIL."

 

Lionel Huts: "Well, we've got plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are types of evidence."

 

"Real acid?"
"THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!"

That one's probably not correct, but it's late, I'm in a bad mood, and I can't be bothered to check. I laughed for about ten minutes when I first saw it, though.

 

Apu: You know that one in every 25 arranged marriages ends in divorce.

 

Wow, how did I not see this thread before?

two of my favourite quotes are Jasper quotes:

"You shot who in the whatnow?"

and

"Talking out of turn...that's a paddling. Looking out the window...that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals...that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddling."

Another favourite is when Homer phones the Mr. Sparkle factory. The person who answers the phone gets someone who speaks English. He greets Homer with, "Hello, Chief! Let's talk, why not?"

Nelson: "Your epidermis is showing!"

Ahh, I could go on all day with Simpsons quotes! But I won't. Here's a last one that most of us can probably relate to, though! Heh......

Lucy Lawless: (Shocked)"You removed it from its original packaging!"
The Collector: "No! It's no longer a collectible!"

 

Smithers:
"Sir, I'm afraid we have a bad image, people see you as a bit of an ogre."

Mr.Burns:
"I ought to club them and eat their bones!"

Also:

"We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.": Milhouse Van Houten

 

Hi my name is Troy McClure, you may remember me from such ..

Lol Troy McClures so funny.

 

retro's Jasper quote about paddling is one of my favorites, but I could never remember the whole thing.

Some more:
Homer (when asked where he's going in the middle of the night): Honey, I'm not gonna lie to .................................................well, good night!

Bart (to Milhouse): How can someone w/ glasses that thick be so stupid?

Bart: Remember, you can always tell what direction North is by staring directly at the sun.

 

Lisa: 'I've grown a futuristic tomato by fertilizing it with anabolic steroids!'

Bart: 'The same kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence?'

Lisa: 'The very same!'

 

Lisa: But he was the only person that had the same love for music that I do. Oh, Dad, why did he have to die?

Homer: Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball got run over.

Lisa: Uh huh.

Homer: Remember, honey?

Lisa: Yeah.

Homer: What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman!