Dating in Japan: the reality.

From what I've heard of online brides from Russia or whatever it often comes pretty close to "abuse". As far as two consenting adults, sure, anything goes as far as I'm concerned. I just can't imagine living with someone I paid for, who in all probability hates my fucking guts.

 

Some of them I assume, but I believe in some countries it's a legit business. It's more of an introduction type thing... not just some foreigner showing up in a wedding dress. Of course, that's the goal, and the truth could be very far from it.

While the practice may indeed be flawed to all get out, I have no moral hangup on the idea itself. Would much rather see them going to live some type of normal life (maybe having kids?) than the other horrors that could happen. From what I understand Russia and it's neighboring countries are a fucking haven for human trafficking, and Liam Neeson can only kill so many.

There are quite a few Russian women here. I'm chummy with at least one who is a student, and I've met some others over the years. The only one that I assumed was a mail order bride I met in a taxi at about 6AM one blurry morning. We were going from one dank pit to the next. She spoke zero Japanese, but enough English that she was from Russia and her husband was Japanese (But didn't speak Russian, if I remember correctly). Hey, I don't judge. She was pretty hot from what I remember, but that was some 13 years ago.

 

Yeah. I guess I was talking about the "pay £5k for this woman to come and live with you and service you in perpetuity (until she gets citizenship and invites her real husband over)" which is all kinds of icky as far as I'm concerned. Arranged marriages are still nuts, though. Deciding who you're going to spend the rest of your life with is probably the single most important decision of your life, and leaving that to what is essentially a financial agreement between the parents just rubs me the wrong way. Marriage should be a genuine, willing choice on both parts, surely.

I'm sure someone will chip in with a cynical rebuttal.

 

Paying for a woman to live with you? Can people really get that desperate? -_-

 

Alchy raises an interesting point about the whole arranged marriage thing but like everything else in life there's more than 2 sides to the coin. Take agency introduced couples. There is at least some element of dignity involved with the Eastern European and former Russian Federation women as it's they themselves who are putting themselves ''out there'' as it were, either for there own betterment or as is the issue in a lot of cases for the young children that they have and who come with them as part of the package. NOTE: When I say package I don't mean it as in a 'lot', I mean it in just the same way that if you were to meet a girl in a bar, at the supermarket etc who happens to have a child or children from a former relationship. Everybody has a history regardless of nationality and we all have what is now commonly called 'baggage'. Not a nice term I know but there you go, I didn't come up with it. Anyway, back on track, these women have in a lot of cases grown up in very troubled times both politically and economically and somewhat altruistically they don't want their experiences to be mirrored in the lives of their children. Who's being exploited then? The woman who put herself up in the first place? No, because she's safeguarded a future for herself but more importantly for her child. Has the man been exploited? Again no, he has just as big an ulterior motive as she does, based on a need for either companionship or who knows what. In instances like this - and these scenarios are all too common - it's a win-win situation for all those involved.

Replace the above with what goes on in the Asian community though and you have a very different story on your hands. Replace arranged with forced and in a lot of cases woman with child. This goes on every day of every week both here and across the world and nobody bats an eyelid. These women have absolutely no say in who they are tied to, they're there to cook, clean and raise children. Families agree before children are even born who will marry who in years to come and massive dowry's can change hands. How is that any different than paying an introduction fee or similar, it's still a union based on a financial agreement/settlement. In no way shape or form does love enter into the equation but here it's accepted as the norm. How can this be the 'acceptable' face of arranged marriage and two people meeting via either a website or an agency be wrong? At least the latter couple have a choice and isn't that what this all boils down to in the end, choice?

 

umm japan is full of those maid places where you pay woman to basically talk to you and feed you

so rock bottom would be paying a woman to live with you the maid restraints are one step ABOVE rock bottom

 

Cause those people are desperate.

 

There is quite a lot of prejudging in this thread, some people do like to have fantasies that they may be unwilling to ask their partners or just live out, some guys are just bad or unlucky with women. Having some woman feed you and have drinks with you with zero sexual contact is fine, no one is being abused or exploited (well the man is but that is neither here nor there). How can anyone that is not a judgemental arsehole say that it is one step above rock bottom.

I went to a couple of maid cafes with my former girlfriend and I saw a range of people from school girls / boys, business men, people with partners, even a small number of office ladies having a good old chat in the corner.

I am sure that lots of people here do things that they are not going to tell the world about, for all we know Gaijinpunch might enjoyed being trussed up in leather and having his partner do naughty things with a strap on.

As it has been stated before, most mail order bridges and introductionary agencies tend to offer women a better life out of the poverty of home, some may stay happily married and I know a friend of a friend who married a mail order vietmanese woman over 18 years ago, they are in their 40s and still happily married and others will get a quick divorce once they get their papers. All you know is that some fat greasy guy is making a fortune doing so.

 

Whew.... that one hit kinda close to home!

 

Sounds like America Mr. HeXiGON.

But yep, those Japanese girls are fine, they remind me of a cute little chipmunk.

@Jamtex I've never seen Japanese girls do that stuff, that's mainly an American and German thing. I did see one Japanese chick in a adult video clip like you mentioned doing just that, but I don't know her name or the name of the film :/ She was speaking Japanese. I hope I can find the name of that actor searching the net.

 

i think it would nice to move to japan and be a English teacher , though when it comes to marrying a japanese girl i don't think it will happen , see really want to marry a japanese girl but i can be a bit of an ass hole at times which i don't think a nice Japanese girl would put up with my bull shit .

 

You need to work on your English then, as a starter. We'll then work on the personality from scratch.

 

No offence mate but Martin is right. You'd need to go back to learning English yourself before even thinking about teaching it.

 

I see nothing wrong with having a preference really...

 

Yeah, whereas all the other women of the world are famous for putting up with bullshit.

 

you know what i hate, i hate when people pick apart what i type on the forums , i'm not perfect and i haven't suggested so , so don't correct me unless i am down right wrong, please.

 

Are you Raylyd?

 

no.


why would you think i would be raylyd my account was made before he was found for copying, second i am a nintendo guy not sega., though i hate the wii ,also i live in america , i don't think raylyd lived in america.

more or less what i typed about how i hate how people pick apart what i type on the forums is pointed toward you martin , this is the 3rd time you have corrected me on minutia .

 

Pointing out that someone's written English sucks when they're talking about moving half way across the world to teach it is not "minutia".

 

Capital letters, with grammar in a close second, from the looks of it.